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How to Be The Popular Kid in High School (L3)

This is the 3rd lesson in my “How to be Popular in High School” program. I highly suggest reading the introduction, and starting this program from the beginning if you haven’t already done so.

Lesson 3 -“Know Your Role

There is a great quote in the book 48 Laws of Power that says “Never outshine the current establishment…in your rise to the top never let them feel insecure of you. Always make them feel superior.” Remember this quote. Everything you learn in the upcoming lessons is dependent on it. It is worth repeating: “Never outshine the current establishment…in your rise to the top never let them feel insecure of you. Always make them feel superior.

Every kid in high school is aware of the social hierarchy and where they fit it into it. Their popularity depends on their being people less popular then them. If everyone was equal, they wouldn’t be special. And they wouldn’t like that.

That being said, no one is anxious to let someone else into the clique. In fact, most of the kids will outwardly try to crush your dreams of being popular. This is why you have to go in under the radar. You have to respect their place in the social hierarchy and more importantly let them know you respect their place. Of course you never verbally say this. You do it in your actions.

Never try to steal their spotlight. For instance, in the previous lesson we talked about image, applying this principle means that you will never wear an outfit or style that bites off one of them. This will arouse envy and suspicion from them and they will turn into your enemy. If one of them invites you to a party, never be more important then they are… never hog more attention then them. In fact, do the opposite and do everything in your power to make them feel even more popular. Do not kiss ass. No one likes flattery. Instead be their wingman. Make it your goal to help them become more popular… help them get a girl… Just generally be supportive of them.

The minute they sense that you may overtake their space in the hierarchy they will turn against you. Trust me.

All of this will make more sense as the lessons progress and I give more concrete examples of what to do. But for now, it is important that you realize this. I will repeat the quote one more time for emphasis: “Never outshine the current establishment…in your rise to the top never let them feel insecure of you. Always make them feel superior.


  1. Find someone slightly above you in the hierarchy and befriend them. You can befriend them by talking to them about something that you know they are interested in. If they are a football fan, ask them their opinion on the playoffs. Seem generally interested in their opinion. Make them feel like an expert. If they are into music introduce them to a new band… just start a conversation and be a fan of theirs. Be subtle about it. Don’t flatter them! But show them that you value their opinion and thoughts. This will compel them to like you…even just a little bit. It’s a start!

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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