Zan’s Natural Game Explained
Zan has always been one of the most well respected pick up artists in the community. Zan’s style is unique in that unlike The Mystery Method or even DeAngelo’s Cocky/Funny, Zan’s natural game is not about hiding your intentions. Since most of us were taught from Strauss, Mystery, and DeAngelo we think its almost sac religious to give a girl a compliment.
In the article below Zan really explains a little bit more about what natural game is. I highly suggest reading this as Zan has a unique view on game.
Dancing in the Moment by Zan Perrion
Here is a question I get everywhere I go…
“How does one appreciate her beauty without losing all the power? I am saying this because from my experience some women do appreciate it a lot and they reciprocate. Others play the power game and interpret your approval of them as giving power away…or is this only my perception?” – BB
I have never really understood the concept of “giving away power”. I suppose my interpration could be summed up in the Fench proverb that roughly translates to “In every relationship, there is the one who kisses and the one who offers their cheek.” Or put another way, “The one who loves the most is the one who waits.”
One could then say that in a relationship context one could “give away power”, I suppose. But, wow, to appreciate beauty in a woman you just met? How is that giving away power? How can you possibly lose any power to a random girl you just met? You may never see her again! No matter what her response, you’re still you.
There is a big difference between appreciating a woman’s beauty and putting her on a pedestal. And believe me, women sure know the difference. The key is to have no agenda.
For example, let’s say you see a pretty girl and you approach her. And you have a goal of getting her phone number. So you say to her, “Wow, you look fantastic!” Well guess what? You are now going to calibrate her response to how well it aligns with your goal of getting her number. If it is a favorable response, you feel good. If it is not a favorable response, you feel a twinge of rejection because you realize your objective (her number) just might be unobtainable. Thus you get a sense of failure. In other words, the reason you gave her that compliment is for her to like you more. You have an agenda and a desired outcome.
This is why guys fail spectacularly when they do the normal things like buying drinks or flowers or complimenting her. It is because they are doing it in the context of: If I do this, maybe I will get something in return from her. Maybe she will like me more than other guys, or she will give me her number, or she will sleep with me.
So now consider the same scenario, but you have no agenda. In other words, you are approaching her and saying “Wow, you look fantastic!” because that is who you are. You like beautiful women and you don’t apologize for it. You have no goal. Her number might be offered or you might decide to ask for it or maybe not. It is irrelevant.
It’s hard to describe, and admittedly hard to detach yourself from a desired outcome (after all, she is pretty and you would love to get to know her), but it is the mindset you should try to adopt. It is the key, I believe… I call it dancing in the moment… You are dancing in the moment with her, you have no plan, and you can’t possibly fail if you are unattached to the outcome.
Seeing beauty in women everywhere does not mean you are necessarily pursuing them! Or have an agenda concerning them.
To illustrate, I was in Vegas recently, and I stepped into an elevator with two women who appeared to be in their late fifties or so. And they were dressed to the nines in cocktail dresses and red lipstick and hair all done. They looked great. I immediately smiled at them and said, “Wow, look at you two! You look ravishing… what’s the occasion?” These women brightened imediately and smiled back, saying, “We are joining our husbands downstairs for a formal event, so we got all dressed up.”
I winked at them as the elevator was going down, and said, “You know what? You could always call them and say you are not feeling well, and that you won’t make it to the event. Then sneak away and party with me…” And I tell you, these women came alive. They were all smiles and delight and shining eyes. They radiated!
And here’s the key: They knew and I knew that they were not going to ditch their husbands to be with me. They knew the spirit of what I was saying. They knew I was not serious in any way. They knew that I saw beauty in them and in my presence they were beautiful.
That’s a gift to them. They left that elevator feeling alive and fantastic. Was I trying to pick them up? Of course not! They knew that. Did I have an agenda? Not at all. The point is that we can make women feel beautiful in our presence, and it has nothing to do with looking for an outcome at all. The interaction is the outcome. There is nothing else. This does not mean you are running up to every woman you see and saying, “You look nice.” That is too tryhard. If I met these women sitting in a restaurant, I wouldn’t walk over just to say something to them (actually, knowing me, I probably would ;-).
At the beginning of this essay, I used the illustration of walking up to a girl and complimenting her. Do I do that all the time? No, of course not. I might do that, if I am exceptionally drawn to her. But I am not advocating that at all. However, if she is in line for coffee with me, I will smile and engage her. With no agenda at all. The elevator gave proximity, and the greatest thing you can do is be more sociable. So, of course I am going to engage these two (I always say, if you want a better social life, always talk to everyone in the elevator). In fact, this is not about approaching women at all. It is not about something you are doing. It is about the way you are all the time. It isn’t something you turn on and off. There is no pursuit here. There is no game here.
And as for the girls you are not attracted to? Well, if you only smile and wink and have charisma when you are in the presence of girls you like, and the rest you simply ignore like they don’t exist, then you are not living a life of charm. You are, in essence, turning it on and off. And that means you have an agenda. You can’t turn charisma off. And this has nothing to with pursuing women or trying to pick them up. Women understand the difference. You are never pursuing anything.
~ Zan Perrion
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.