Keeping Cool, and Plowing On
Every so often I hit that point where the time comes I need to get my ass back in shape. I’m naturally lazy. But I am usually able to motivate myself in smalls bursts.. that allow me to keep decently fit. I slack during the winter, and then panic come spring when the scale starts tipping in the wrong direction.
So I’ve began one of those small bursts of motivation. I’m reading the bodybuilding forums, buying the supplements, and working out again.
Tonight at the gym I’m all amped up after downing a super sized Red Bull. That adrenaline rush usually puts me in a talkative mood, so with confidence sky high I turn to the girl on the elliptical trainer next to me and say “that is a really nice color on you.”
She was wearing this pale blue shirt that really brought out her eyes.
The second after I say it I immediately have that twang of self doubt… like ‘what the fuck did I just say?’ That feeling of doubt is only amplified when she looks at me like I have three heads.
She says, “Its just my gym outfit.”
My mind is telling me it was a stupid inappropriate moronic way to start a conversation. I want to crawl away.
Instead I take a deep breath and compose myself. You can’t lose on the opener. Plow on.
“Never underestimate the power of a gym outfit,” I tell her. “See that mirror,” I point at the mirror in front of us. “I read that its a proven fact that the better we percieve ourselves to look while we’re working out.. the more motivated we become and the harder we push ourselves.”
“Oh yea?” she says. Still giving me nothing to work with.
I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in a couple years, wearing an old beat up t-shirt, and gym pants with paint stains on them. I look like I just rolled out of bed.
“For instance, I’m looking really good tonight. Really really good! And I’m having a great workout!” I over exaggerate my motions on the machine.
This finally gets the girl laughing and smiling.
The interaction ends a positive note. I don’t go for a number or even a name. I’ll see her again. And the next time I do will be one step closer to rapport. Thats the way I look at gym game. If you go to the gym the same time every day, you’re going to see the same girls. The best approach is to mingle with a bunch of them, and casually build attraction.
The point of this post is that many times you’ll initiate a conversation and get dead air. Its easy to get nervous and go into deer in headlights mode… instead compose yourself, take a deep breath and plow on. Even naturals struggle with initiating conversations. But they’re confident enough to keep going knowing that girls forgets your “opener” a minute after you say it. Its everything afterward that counts.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.