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How to Talk Women into Bed


Yesterday I began what will be weekly series called “The Early Years”  The first handful of episodes will focus on my beginning in the community and my brief time studying and practicing Speed Seduction.

Although I have since moved on to a more natural game I do feel that I learned a lot of principles that really went on to help me develop my pickup skills.  Judging from most of the comments on the post, Speed Seduction seems to have a bit of a bad wrap in the community.  Mike Stoute is probably partly to blame for that, as he was one of the guys early on practicing it with me… and has since come to condemn it openly on our podcasts.  In future episodes of “The Early Years” you’ll come to understand more why Mike turned against it.. but I can tell you now- it wasn’t because it didn’t work.

Anyway, I thought I would post a short newsletter by Ross Jeffries to give you guys an idea of some of the principles of Speed Seduction.  As one of the commenters said, it is commonplace in every style of pickup.

How to Talk Women into Bed by Ross Jeffries

Now I’m sure you have probably known a guy who wasn’t good looking, didn’t have money, but somehow he just knew what to say to women to make them eager to “jack his beanstalk”, “ride his baloney pony” and “do the grown up”. In short, he had lots of women, while better-looking guys had few or none. The reality is that men have been “sweet-talking” women out of their panties (or bloomers or whatever) since recorded history began.

It’s just with Speed Seduction we are going to make it a lot more precise for you by introducing you to the concept of “recipes” or “states”.

You see, one key shift in understanding how to get what you want with the women you want is:


Now, I know this may seem like a key paradox. After all, isn’t this all about getting very hot women to do what we want-sleep with us, give us great sex, worship the ground we slink across, etc?

Yes, of course it is. But the key here is, GO FOR HER FEELINGS FIRST!


So the real question is: how can we awaken the feelings and emotional states that give us this kind of “leverage” with women?

The key is to capture and lead her imagination.

Just remember this rule: her imagination is the key to her emotions. Her emotions are the key to her bedroom door!

I don’t care how hot she is. I don’t care if she is a “10” on the looks scale and YOU are a “two”. If you can capture her imagination, then you can capture her emotions. Capture her emotions and you tap into the deep cultural and social conditioning that teaches women from the time they can first speak that following their emotions is the key to being a woman.

Now, the good news is, you can do this in a way that truly fulfills her and leaves her feeling wonderful, so BOTH of you win.

The next issue of this newsletter will begin the process of teaching you how. For now, bear this in mind:

Every year, romance novels outsell every other form of fiction combined, not just in the United States, but the ENTIRE Western world.

Tom Clancy, John LeCarre, Stephen King and any of your other favorite authors combined can’t even make even a small dent in the sales of books that you and I as men would RIGHTLY consider trash!

Yet women of all ages read these things.

Why? Simply because they want their imagination and emotions stimulated and women do this through words; the words they speak, the words they hear, and in this case the words they read.

You may not have an ugly face to talk away. You may not want to “bed the Queen of France.” But to be the king of the bedroom, you have to learn to structure your communication in ways most guys will never even begin to consider or understand.

Just to review, I taught you:

1. Focus on her feelings first. Get your mind off the behaviors you want from her(sex, undying loyalty, threesomes, etc) and put your mind and focus on what feeling states she would have to be in, in order to want to naturally give you those behaviors.

2. Realize that the key to her feelings is her imagination. Capture and lead her imagination and you can generate the intense feelings and emotions she craves.

3. The key to capturing her imagination AND emotions is how you use your language. Remember the example from last issue of romance novels; they out do every other form of fiction combined, because they appeal to women’s fantasies, imagination and emotions, even though we, as guys, would never read such stuff.

The Mystery Of Women’s “Feelings” Explained

In order to understand just how to tap into the deep feelings that women crave, like “chemistry”, attraction, desire, fascination, incredible connection I need to make the
briefest of detours into a discpline called Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP. Please, please bear with me, because the next couple of paragraphs will allow you to enjoy a profound
understanding of how women “tick” that will skyrocket your success with them more a new Porsche, perfect pecs, or high status and fame.

The Concept of States And ” Emotional Recipes”

One of the core ideas of NLP is that people don’t just mysteriously “get” feelings. Feelings and emotions are the end result of a process that people run on the inside of themselves, involving what they say to themselves, how they picture things in their minds, and what flows of internal
physical sensations they experience inside their bodies.

Now, bear with me here, because this is both simple AND important.

Think of a woman you really, REALLY want to be with.

Wouldn’t you like her to experience the following emotional “states” with you?


You would agree that those would be great for starters, yes? That, given THOSE feelings, she would be far more likely to say, “JUMP ME NOW” instead of “Let’s just be friends!” (By the way, if the only thing you hear from women is “Let’s just be friends” it is because the only feeling states she experiences around you are casual enjoyoment and comfort. Not enough to get her doing the grown up!)

Are you following along so far?

Ok. For this lovely lady to experience these intense, positive feeling states with you, she has to run some kind of internal process or “recipe” to get the end result of wanting you.

An Example To Help Understand And A Half Truth Corrected And Explained

As an example, a woman might first look at you and get a bit of a tingle in her tummy. Then she might picture you and her naked. Then she might say to herself “yummm”. Then perhaps she might feel tightness in her throat, her nipples hardening, and the tingles going down to her crotch. She might picture the two of you meeting her friends and feeling a sense of pride.

The key is this: this will all flash through her body and mind in seconds, so fast in fact, that she will almost always something she is NOT consciously aware of doing.

Now, you may have heard it said that women will decide in the first ten seconds if they are going to sleep with a guy.

This is almost always NOT true. What is true is that when women DO decide to sleep with you,(whether it’s ten minutes or ten months into knowing you) they will run that process of
deciding through their body and mind in LESS than ten seconds.

Ok. I think I’ve piled enough on you for now. But I want you to really re-read this newsletter another time. Maybe print it out and take it with you for a long walk, and think about
the implications and how it begins to make sense of a very important piece of your life. Remember the more we can “de-mystify” women’s emotions and make them something we can
bring to the surface and LINK to us, the more power, choice, and enjoyment with women we are going to have; women most guys just get to dream about.

In the next issue we’ll get into the nuts and bolts of how to actually start using your language to do this.

Until then,

P e a c e a n d p i e c e ,

R o s s

Learn more about Speed Seduction by checking out Ross’s official site

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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  1. eddy

    March 14, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Yea – having studied NLP before from the self improvment aspect, I find myself facsinated by the implications for seduction – although I agree that It is almost like date rape of used too heavily – I dont want to manipulate girls into bed with me but I do want to tease their subconsious a bit while using my natural game – I would definately welcome a bit more in the way of NLP related posts on this site

  2. athena

    March 14, 2008 at 10:21 am

    i agreed with a lot of what was written here, but i think its just a little skewed.
    i think the most important point about the romance novels is that it shows how women think of sex is different than men think of sex. but not because its more emotional, i think that part is naive to say. but the part about the imagination is KEY.
    just like when you look at escalation, you have to do the “two steps forward, one step back” thing – this is because women need anticipation. you guys seem pretty comfortable accepting this idea – but there is even more to it than that.
    the reason these romance novels work so well is because a HUGE part of what turns a girl on is all in her head. for some reason, women cant just see a random sexual scene and get turned on. they need to know the details – what kind of room they are in, how the two people met, how the encounter started, WHY they are turned on in the first place. these kinds of details for a guy are inconsequential – but for a women, its vital. even their own mental fantasies when they masturbate include these things – for some reason, a woman cannot just focus on the memory of how good it feels. probably because how good it feels is really up to how revved up her mind is.
    but the dirtiest part is that most of these fantasies dont need an emotional connection to make them good – and women dont NEED an emotional connection with you, either.
    yes, making it sexual and emotional will work, but there is more than one way to skin a cat! i think it would be MUCH better to focus on the idea that its not so much the emotional connection or physical part of sex that turns them on, its simply being in a sexual situation and letting their mind actually BE there in a sexual way.

  3. mike

    March 14, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    This is good theory and I’ve seen Ross do this live in front of an audience…on a chick I was sitting next too while he was on stage! He ended up getting one on one with her afterwards. He’s really good at this method. The problem is knowing the technique to stimulate her emotions. I could see and hear him doing it, but it was beyond me on exactly what was happening. All I know is he got her ‘stimulated’ while he was on stage! I guess the answer is in the ‘patterns’ I’ve heard about…I’ll have to research.

    I’m also using NLP methods for personal growth. It’s weird because it breaks down interaction to a science (something I can understand,) but applying the techniques is an ART.

    I’ve also tried to learn a more natural/spontaneous game…but this method looks too valuable to not learn…and as stated before, NLP is present in all forms of pick-up…from what I can tell.

  4. Teddy Bear

    March 14, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    NLP is some real powerful stuff, and done right IT DOES WORK wonders, but i dont like the feeling of it, i do use it in other aspects other than PU but with girls….not my cup of tea

    Teddy Bear’s last blog post..How to Talk to Younger Women

  5. What?

    March 15, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Bobby Rio…..what are the specific patterns you used with SS? How did you use them, just walk up and try them out?

  6. Bobby Rio

    March 15, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    I’ll be giving detailed accounts of my experiences with SS in my series the early years… word for word accoutns

    as for your question.. no i never would just walk up to a girl and use a pattern right away…i usually geared the conversation towards it.. and it doesn’t really work well in bars or loud noisy places.

    like i said though.. its some sick stuff.. not for everyone.. but i’l be detailing it in the coming weeks’

    its how i got started.. have moved on since..but i learned a lot from it

  7. sasuke

    March 15, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    Bobby, that detailed account would be great. Though the post is real good read in getting to the panties of your girl, it is a concrete example that really matters. Call me idiot but to tell you honestly, I don’t know how to start. On my experience, they all just come to me and then everything just happens. But it is usually a long night and a date before I get to bed a lady.

  8. Pingback: How to Talk Women into Bed - Dating, Pickup, Seduction

  9. Odin

    March 17, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Hmm. This does make me look slightly more in favour of RJ.

    Capturing and Leading the imagination seems to be a very powerful tool. I think whenever we tell stories or jokes and stuff we are doing this to a certain extent. I think RJ’s methods will become part of my repetoire, it seems fun and really augments my interesting personality.

    Damn that sounded arrogant!

  10. Ross Jeffries

    March 29, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    With regard to the "manipulation" issue and Speed Seduction(R), it might help to look at it like this:

    When most people use the word "manipulation" they mean one or more of the following three components:

    1. Concealing an agenda; pretending to be interested in a relationship when you really just want a one-nighter.  Pretending you want to help a girl move her furniture when in reality, you want to bang her. Etc etc etc

    2. Lying about a material fact. Saying you are a wealthy doctor when in reality you are unemployed and live in your aunt’s basement. Saying you are a tv producer when in reality you are a plumber. Etc etc.

    3. Using the other person’s painful emotions; guilt, shame, fear to maneuver them to do what you want.

    Speed Seduction(R) rejects each and all of these and does NOT advocate using any of these. Period.

    For me, manipulation means to move with skill and deliberateness. That is all it means.

    Hope this clears it up somewhat.

    Peace and piece,

    P.S. Check out my Nail Your Inner Game program; it is flying off the shelves.

  11. Joren

    July 4, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Ross, you can justify your “techniques” and “manipulation” however you’d like. The TRUTH is that your aim is to help men to con women into bed. It’s low. You teach men how play on a woman’s weaknesses and insecurities. I think it’s disgusting. Women are not commodities, they are real people and should be respected as the individuals they are. As a real man, I don’t find these ridiculous techniques necessary. Only the most insecure of men would resort to such a load of crap. If men want to attract women, they should need nothing more than to know that they are good enough to be with a woman. Women are not put on this planet to please us or have sex with us for a night only to be forgotten the next day. We should respect women and in turn they will respect us! Too many cultures view women as less than human. These techniques laid out by our friend Ross Jefferies suggest that western culture is no different. Look, if you want to meet women, engage yourself in activities that will help you to meet women who share your interests. Meet women in places other than bars! Women are not stupid, and if you are manipulative you won’t get or keep yourself a good woman. Stop listening to this hogwash!

  12. Frank

    December 27, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    One thing you must think about when there is good interaction going on between you and a hot-looking woman…is just where are you going to go with her when “all systems are go?” You don’t want to start something that you aren’t prepared to finish. A bedroom might not be readily available.

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