Developing Your Inner Game (day 2)
This is the second day of our series 31 Days to Better Game. Today’s lesson on inner game comes to you from Love System’s instructor Cajun. You can read more of Cajun’s solid advice at his blog Cajun Spice or you can learn about attending one of his bootcamps at Love Systems.com.
Developing Inner Game by Cajun
Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. Its a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and its a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetimes worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I cant convince you how to think or look at life differently, only you can, but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.
So what is it?
To me, inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. Im going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article youll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.
When people ask me how I developed my Rock solid confidence, I always answer the same; Practice. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that its simply doing something that youve done enough times to be comfortable with. Its only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they dont talk to women! Its a negative feedback loop thats perpetuated by a fear of what might go wrong. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!
Think about it this way; when you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well this is the same thing, I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isnt easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, dont get mad at her or yourself, dont go home, just accept that its a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You cant make an omelette without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.