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Why You shouldn’t be Too Macho for Swimwear Shopping

So it’s been raining for a week (from what I can see from my desk anyway) but that’s just amplified the idea that it should be summer season! Which means, guys, we need to go out and get some new swim gear. I know it sounds like a very girly thing to do, but face it – she’s going to notice that you’re wearing the same, outdated, Hawaiian-print board shorts for the fourth year in a row. Even if you’re not attached and looking to check out the scantily-clad crowds at the beach, they’re going to recognize the fact that your shorts are old – it’s more obvious than you’d think. Panic? Don’t. Go find a new pair? Do.

It’s really easy. The great thing about swim trunks is that there are a bunch of different styles, depending what you’re comfortable with. For my purposes here I’m going to assume the majority of us are going to be lying on beaches with a North American flavor – therefore, no Speedos. If you’re looking to blend in with what all the other guys are wearing, then go for the classic, baggy, ‘board shorts. This pair at right is by District Threads – from my experience, a pretty solid brand to buy from. They’re pretty generic but they’ll last you all summer and if you’re in a pinch for that winter vacation to Mexico, you’ll still own a pair that’s not gone out of style. For the record, these are almost an exact copy of the ones I wear, and they’re great if you’re not big on wearing short trunks.

That being said, you don’t have to wear something really baggy. In fact, if you’ve got a lean, defined figure, I recommend you wear something smaller. You’ll look buffed up, and girls will love it. Girls, I find, love it when guys wear something a bit more metro than they would have expected them to. These Boss trunks are a great example. As you can see these shorts end above the knee – perfect if you’re a leaner guy. That being said, if you’re kind of chunky, skip these and go for something a bit baggier. The shorter cut also makes you look taller so if you want to add a couple of inches to your (perceived) height there are also the choice for you.

Finally… One of the craziest things I’ve come across. Ed Hardy is what the cool kids wear… And no matter how much I try to convince you all that it’s gone too far I know that a small but significant chunk of you will buy Ed Hardy summer paraphernalia. But if you’re going to, you might as well go all-out and grab these wild tiger board shorts! They have similar ones in boxer-brief cut, but if you’re not aiming to draw droves of gay males to your assets… I don’t recommend them.

Now you have three viable options for new swim gear, so no complaining if you go to the beach in your old shorts and no girl looks at you twice, except the more desperate wenches. These can all be found on amazon.com, so you’ve got no excuse – you can order a pair without leaving your computer! How easy is that. Granted, no girl is going to look at you regardless if you’re out of shape anyway, so get off your ass and hit the gym, why don’t you?

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About a1_X. A1_X is a fashion blogger who contributes a weekly column here at TSB Magazine. A1_X specializes in finding hot clothes at affordable prices.

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