How to Master Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny (day 11)
We’re at the 11th day of our series 31 Days to Better Game. By now you should be actively out approaching girls. Today’s lesson is on using the 80/20 rule in regards to push-pull and cocky-funny. The lesson was sent in by The Asian Rake. The Asian Rake is a university professor and dating consultant based out of China and Singapore. You can read more about is exploits at his site The Asian Rake. He offers personal coaching privately and through The Social Man.
Mastering the Art of Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny by The Asian Rake
Do You Want Faster and More Powerful Seductions? How the 80/20 Principle applies to Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny?
Weve all heard about the 80/20 principle first developed by Vilfredo Pareto in the context of the distribution of income and wealth. My experience and observations have shown that the 80/20 rule applies just as well to push-pull and cocky-funny.
After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, Ive discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. This small bit of fine-tuning can shave a lot of time off your seductions and create much stronger, closer emotional connections.
Heres my thesis statement (yes, Im an academic, lol): If you want to seduce a woman faster and have her more powerfully attracted to you, the optimal mix for a man who already has his fundamentals down (his body language, tonality, and basic inner game) and is interacting with a confident and attractive woman is 80% pull, 20% push.
Im not going to be too strict about the numbers. But more accurately, the optimal combination depends on how good the mans fundamentals are and how confident the woman is. Its a continuum with the upper end of the continuum being 80-20 pull-push.
My experience has also been that pull-push is best mixed with humor. Plus, the pull and the push are opposite manifestations of cockiness. With push, you are cocky enough to think that you are too good for the girl, so you push her away. With pull, you are cocky enough to think that you are irresistible to her and to women in general, and you want her, so you pull her in.
Although there is plenty to say about this combination of push-pull and cocky-funny, Ill leave that to another article. My focus here is on the 80/20 principle applied to the push-pull dynamic. Ill assume here that its obvious that push-pull is closely connected to cocky-funny.
For the classic book on push-pull, see Swingcats ebook, Real World Seduction. For cocky-funny, the best authority is David DeAngelo. Check out his ebook, Double Your Dating, and his DVD series, Cocky Comedy. I assume at least familiarity with push-pull and cocky-funny as described in these resources. Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man are about to release a product that incorporates all the concepts in Swingcat and David D.s books and then takes it all to another level. Watch at their site for the release. Were good friends, so Im a little biased, but you can go over there and check it out for yourself:
What I say here is NOT for absolute newbies, who dont yet have their fundamentals down (body language, tonality, and basic inner game). If you still donT know what good BL&T looks, sounds, and feels like, stop reading this and figure that out first.
My point here applies to elite game. Its for guys who want to know what its like to live in the top 10%, or higher, of men in this world. That not to say this is advanced. Its just not for beginners.
A quickie definition of push-pull straight from the pen of Swingcat: Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you and, then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull. Well be filling this out as we go along.
Now lets unpack the thesis statement.
While you can succeed using almost any combination of push and pull (e.g., 80% push-20% pull, 50% push-50% pull), the combination that will generate the fastest seductions and most powerful connections is 80-20 pull-push or in other words, 80% pull-20% push. This is true only if the following also hold:
a. The man has good fundamentals (good body language, tonality, tight inner game and is hence non-needy, etc.). This also applies if he is physically attractive or is perceived by the woman to have high social value.
b. The woman is unusually attractive in the mans eyes, and she is confident about her value and attractiveness. This relates to Believability. She needs to be able to be confident enough in her self-worth to accept your advances.
If both those elements are in place, then the fastest and most powerful route to sex is a mix of 80% pull-20% push.
[CAVEAT: If the man only has average fundamentals and the woman is only of average confidence in her own attractiveness and value, then the optimal mix is further down the continuum and closer to 50-50 push-pull.
This is because pulling a woman closer to you emotionally is only effective when you already have a basic level of attraction from the woman. Of course, we all know that this kind of attraction is largely independent of ones physical appearance. Over 90% of this kind of attraction is attributable to body language and tonality alone. Thats why I call these the fundamentals. Your attitude and outlook are also crucial to pulling off the right BL&T, so I include inner game as a factor for the sake of completeness.]
Pushing a woman away is effective when a woman looks at you and doesnt expect you to be cocky. It throws her off and is hence funny.
It’s like when a precocious child talks like an adult, using mature and sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. Its unexpected and incongruent with the kids image, and hence, kind of funny, and if done right, its admirable.
Now imagine a 50 year old, sophisticated-looking man talking the same way. Its not funny anymore. Its just normal and expected.
Similarly, when a below average looking guy uses a lot of push cocky-funny, talking as if hes too good for her and using humorous sarcasm, its attractive because the woman begins to wonder, How can this guy be so cocky? He must have something going for him that I cant see yet. Im interested. And because its done in a comedic way, shes not offended, but rather, intrigued.
Now if a guy who has his fundamentals down (good BL&T), a good-looking guy, or a guy perceived to have high value starts to push her away emotionally, shes not intrigued. Why? Because its obvious why this guy is so cocky. Hes good-looking, high-value, or has an attractive personality. Its not funny anymore because its expected and congruent with his image. He just comes across cocky. For a guy like this to use cocky-funny, he has to really emphasize the humor and really cut down on the cocky part.
Most people overlook the fact that David D. himself acknowledged this in one of his newsletters:
If you’re a pretty good looking guy, you might turn down the cocky, and turn up the funny. Women perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can backfire on you.
More accurately, this isnt just true for guys who are good-looking. If your fundamentals are strong, or youre perceived as high-value, then it applies just as well to you.
Its the push dynamic that makes these high-value or good-looking guys come across as too unattainable. For guys like this, its best to use the pull dynamic more often and save the push dynamic for that 20% of dramatic contrast.
And obviously, when a guy with good fundamentals, attractive appearance, or high social value is perceived as a major player, it is very bad for his Believability.
You can do it the opposite way, of course. You can do mainly push and just a little pull, like 80% push and 20% pull. Or you can be very cocky and only a little funny. Sure, you can get success that way, too.
But for the most part, if your fundamentals are already strong, then:
1) You can get much faster seductions by pulling her in more often than you can by pushing her away.
2) You can get the girl to feel a deeper emotional bond with you by pulling more often than pushing.
1. If your fundamentals are good, then you will be a relatively DOMINANT, powerful, and confident man. Hence, girls (and most people in general) will naturally feel like following your lead. So when you tell a girl to sit down, she will feel a strong social and emotional pull to sit down. When youre emotionally pulling a girl in by telling her to kiss you, she will have to work extra hard to resist. Most girls like a strong, dominant, powerful, confident guy, and many girls have the fantasy of being taken by such a man. Any resistance they give to such a man is just token.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.