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Text Game for the PUA (day 18)


The long weekend is over and we’re back to our 31 Days to Better Game series.  In the last lesson we discussed phone game strategies.  As we all know, in today’s time, text game is just as important as phone game for instigating a date or keeping in touch after one.

Lance, from Honey and Lance, gives us a great lesson on how use texting to your advantage.  If you unfamiliar with Lance, read some of his insightful and entertaining field reports over at his site.

>>>Watch Video:   3 Texts to Turn Her On and Get Her Out

day 18

Text Game for the Pua by Lance

Text game is an integral part of my arsenal. Before I get started, I want to say a few words about writing style. Good spelling and punctuation, use it! Don’t use cutesy textspeak (ur instead of your, etc), use punctuation, and supplement your lines with smileys and other emoticons. Why the big deal about grammar and spelling? Because if you’re using good English, you’re coming from a position of high value and it shows you have a command of language. Obviously, language is part and parcel of what pickup is all about. This also sets you apart from the legions of dorks who can’t spell worth a crap. I have a few exceptions here. I use a few acronyms, such as OMG or WTF. WTF is a good one, because you avoid the profanity but still express surprise or shock.

Also, consider this. I’m a bit older, around 30, and the girls I socialize with are high value woman in their mid or late 20’s who are educated. Using textspeak on a 28 year woman with an MBA would totally de-attract her. To get the high value woman, keep your language as tight as possible.

Okay, I use texting for the following reasons:

  1. Flirting.
  2. Maintaining a connection.
  3. Escalation.
  4. Quick scheduling or announcements when I’m on the go.

Since item 4 is fairly self-explanatory, I’ll focus on 1 – 3.

Here’s how it breaks down:


When used in the right ways, flirting via text is very effective. Texting has similar properties to flirting over email (or sending messages using facebook or myspace), but the quality that sets it apart is immediacy. Everyone has a cell phone, and pretty much everyone has it on their person at all times. If you send a text, the other person is going to read it within a few seconds. Conversely, if you send an email, it’s possible that person won’t read it until the evening or the next day if you’re sending it to a personal account (and you should…don’t send flirty emails to a work or business account).

Not only that, but getting a text is like a little treat that breaks up the monotony of your day. Everyone loves to receive text messages! I haven’t delved into this, but I think some people derive a certain degree of social clout from the number of texts they get. If you’re a chick and you’re getting dozens more texts than the next girl, then you’re more popular…at least that seems to be the psychology. If anyone wants to dive into point, I’d love to here some perspectives.

One way I flirt over text is to send messages that will compel her to write back. It’s like playing a little game. Here are a couple of examples:

“Hey, just ate lunch at this great Thai place, you would love it!”
“Guess what I’m doing right now¦it’s f’ing awesome!”
“Just read your horoscope, it’s crazy.”

All of these messages are intended to come out of the blue and compel her to write back and ask what it is you’re talking about. The key is being playful, interesting, and fun. Once she responds, you should banter back and forth for a bit, ie basic flirting. This gets her thinking about you and this method can be used to maintain a connection or escalate, it just depends on the direction you want to go.

I’ll use texts as a direct compliment. I often do this after a first date, either in the same night or the next morning.

“You looked totally sexy in that dress.”
“Had a blast, conversation was great, you’re a great kisser WOW!”
“You’re the cutest Leo EVER rawr.”

This creates a strong statement of interest and let’s her know that you’re absolutely interested in going further. There’s nothing wrong with a compliment as long as you’ve established a strong masculine frame during the date. It’ll pump her up and get her thinking about how cool you are. I’ll use this to spur a longer text conversation and then mix in some “normal” text convo, such as asking how her day went. This dialogue establishes that you’re a a normal guy and not a player (haha) or merely a flirt.

Maintain A Connection

If I’ve number closed a chick and I know I can’t see her again until the next weekend, I’ll text her just a little bit during the week to remind her who I am. The key here is to flirt and be a bit mysterious so that she’s compelled to see you when you ask for a first meetup. I rarely do fluff talk in these instances because you’ll risk losing the attraction by seeming mundance. As with everything else you should calibrate.

>>>Watch Video:   3 Texts to Turn Her On and Get Her Out

I like texting during the day when I know she’s at work. Let’s face it, Monday at the office sucks (if you’ve got an office job) and getting flirty texts can be a real pick-me-up. I’ll mix this in with a couple of emails, some myspace stuff, and a phone call or two to maintain the connection until I see her again. Keep in mind that pickups are tenuous affairs and flakes can happen at any time…texting helps to cement a future meetup.

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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  1. Damien

    July 7, 2008 at 8:26 am

    Great post Lance… love your examples of texts to send

    • Yo

      August 30, 2012 at 12:55 am

      “it gets her hot for the lance cock” haha, best!

  2. Pingback: Weekend Roundup: TSB Edition | Honey and Lance

  3. KillSwitch

    July 7, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Amazing post. Text really is chick crack…all the girls i know are always…and I mean always texting!! good job

  4. Sebastian

    July 7, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Txt is indeed a great way to keep you in the girl’s mind while allowing you to be playful/fun/teasing/maintaining a connection, putting up sexual frames, role plays, etc. and you’re right, girls LOVE it!!! It’s definitely a chick crack.

    Nice article Lance and thanks for the links near the end as well.

  5. id

    July 8, 2008 at 12:26 am

    re: People love receiving texts
    I stumbled an article that I cannot find, but it mentioned that when women communicate the pleasure center of the brain is more active than men’s. Plus getting a text is such a state breaker. So if she’s at work (probably bored/stressed), putting a smile on her face is very powerful.


    This article really delivered the goods. I like how this read like it was written for this site and not a bunch of unnecessary copy like every guru’s free mailing list “I’m going to tell you something so powerful, so profound… but first, let me tell you a little story… it begins with a…” (STFU AND GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!!). I digress.

    One question- do you ever try to set up day 2’s by text or do you always save that for until you have her on the phone?

  6. Zeo

    July 8, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Txting is great and effective, but you can’t you use it as a crutch. I’ve made the mistake of only communicating thru text and you can lose girls fast if its an everyday txt-a-thon.

  7. future

    July 11, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    one thing that I have found to be affective, when used sparingly, is sending a playful text while together. Say during your second meeting, or after a bounce, you are with her group. Hoping to isolate her, maybe a light hearted text such as:´
    ‘I need to show you something…but NOT here!!’
    this creates conspiracy, a huge turn on for girls, and it is not uncommon that her friends see her make isolation, thus will have even less of a chance of disturbing yall!

  8. Victimson

    July 28, 2009 at 9:09 am

    This has really opened up my eyes a lot. I really appreciate the post. Text game has become such a crucial part of dating and seduction.
    If anyone is interested I came across a website where theres a free video on text game.

  9. Bobby Rio

    May 14, 2010 at 9:14 am

    How about we all add a bunch more good lines for texting a girl….

    • Claudio

      December 7, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      Hi, Rob can you please give me some examples about how to text a girl you don’t know on Facebook and get their number? Thanks

  10. Cailean

    September 3, 2010 at 9:46 am

    Hey mate yeah good effort, however its a little generic. It’s about doing or saying what 90% of guys don’t do. Complimenting is nice, but majority of the examples given are lowering your value, your the one chasing, where as this is supposed to be game which excites her. If your like everyone else, like the given examples.. The texts are boring and repetitive. – Cailean.

  11. Anonymous

    July 6, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Guess what I’m doing right now……..reply/what?……..using my imagination you use yours

  12. rachel

    May 18, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    I love you so much in my heart you are cool

  13. Mark

    August 11, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    Hi Lance,

    Some really great idea’s here! But I have a question 🙂

    I slept with a girl that has a bf, even days later we were still sexting the tension was incredible! (She even sent me a pic of her in a naughty lil number. Then next day she went cold and eventually “just be friends” happened.

    How can I get her back into bed?

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