Believe It’s Possible
This next article is part of an ongoing series here at TSB Magazine called The Success Principles. The series is based on the 64 principles laid out by Jack Canfield in his course of the same name. If you’re new, I always suggest starting any series from the beginning.
Principle 4: Believe It’s Possible
Napoleon Hill once said,
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
When we condition our brains to expect a certain outcome, we often achieve what we anticipate. Holding positive expectations in your mind becomes a priority once you come to fully accept that believing something is possible allows your brain to begin the job of accomplishing it.
When Neil Strauss’s book The Game came out a few years back, two distinct types of people emerged. There were the people that blindly and whole heartedly believed that they to could achieve the results that Neil talks about in the book. And there were the people who were skeptical about their unique ability to make the same transformation that Neil talks about.
Which type of person do you think went on to drastically change their dating life?
I will admit I was once a doubter and a hater. When a friend or acquaintance of mine would share with me their desire and plan to achieve a certain outcome… I would often internally mock them for “day dreaming” and their “lack of understanding how reality works.”
But too many “day dreamers” have proved me wrong… I now know that reality works exactly the way you expect it to work.
One of my friends, Jon, was hopelessly infatuated with this girl Kelly for three years. They had a flirtatious friendship at best, and at certain points he would go months without even talking to her. But whenever you spoke to Jon about his dating habits, at some point Kelly’s name would pop up. My friends and I would often rip on Jon telling him to “give up his fantasy girl and get back to reality.” At one point, Kelly was in a relationship with this rich BMW-driving-high profile-stock broker… we all told Jon that was the “nail on his dream’s coffin.”
Well, today Jon has been dating Kelly for almost two years, and she is begging him for an engagement ring.
I firmly believe that the only reason Jon is with Kelly right now is because he saw no other outcome. He truly believed that he would wind up with her.
How many of you would have given up? Or believed it impossible?
Tim Ferris, author of one of my favorite books The 4 Hour Work Week, won the national San Shou kickboxing title just 6 weeks after being introduced to the sport.
Most people would have called Tim a lunatic for competing in a tournament against guys who had been training for years. He would surely get his ass handed to him. Well, Tim found some great trainers, practiced four hours a day for six straight weeks, and went on to defeat four highly acclaimed fighters and won the championship.
When asked how he succeeded in the seemingly impossible, Tim responded:
Most people fail not because they lack the skills or aptitude to reach their goal but because they simply don’t believe they can reach it.
I strongly believe that Tim is dead on, and that lacking the belief it is possible, it the single biggest obstacle depriving people of what they want
If, when you first read The Game, you possessed blind unrelenting optimism that you would reach the same outcome Neil did if you followed exactly what he said… do you think you would have seen different results?
Or were you like most people and had that little voice in your head say “It would be nice… but can it really work for me?”
That little seed of doubt is what prevents us from making it past the difficult times. Our mind says “If I’m not going to make it anyway, why endure this pain?”
If you whole heartedly believed you would achieve the result you desired… you would endure any obstacle, battle any fear, and ultimately see the fruit of your labor.
It’s amazing what happens to your self-confidence when you get eyeball to eyeball with yourself and forcefully tell yourself what you’re going to do. Whatever your dream is, look at yourself in the mirror and declare that you are going to achieve it- no matter what the price.
Much of what Canfield talks about in this principle comes down to having the self confidence to go after what you want 100%. Canfield also has a course called Maximum Confidence which provides 10 steps to extreme self esteem.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.