The Truth Behind “Fake it Till You Make It”
This is another guest post from Puppet Master
We all have them, a friend who is just completely against the whole pick up thing. Some of us are constantly ridiculed and hassled when we start to bring up pick-up tactics or try to help a guy in need. Some of us think that we are “the man” because we watched The Pickup Artist on vh1 and learned a couple new words and techniques.
A new member to the community will feel a newfound confidence, change some things about their character, and have a little success… initially. All that is fine and dandy, but what we new members of the community need to do is remain humble. Just because we know how to get girls, doesn`t mean that we get them…yet.
When you`re talking with your friends, and girls come up, don`t force your pua theories on them so soon. Because all it takes is for your buddy to say, Well, where are your girls?. Then what do you say? Nothing, because although you are making progress, you don`t have a whole lot to show for it just yet and that is the perfect way to hit an early plateau.
When a lot afc`s hear the term fake it till you make it, they interpret that the wrong way. They play it off as if they are Mystery himself and get laid on command. You don`t become a fake person, you`re more or less becoming your own source of motivation. Don`t lie to yourself because that`s not the message Guru`s are trying to give you. You have to look at who you are as a person, finding qualities about yourself and ways of making them interesting. If you need to you can say things to yourself like I am a women`s ideal man! Tell yourself that, but no one else, because until you can actually prove that to yourself, no one will take you seriously.
Think of a time you were in the presence of a person who was just full of shit. They tell you a story, but in the back of your mind you think wow dude you`re not fooling anyone. That`s how you look when you say words like DHV, IOI, and FTC without a woman on your arm. You know what these terms mean and it make sense to you, but you just don`t have the social proof. My case is somewhat special, but I`ll use it as an example. I had no clue how to behave around women as far as being alpha is concerned. I`d go out and was just a wallflower. I knew that if a girl would just take the time to get to know me they would see how cool I could be, but the opportunities rarely arose. I also didn`t understand why gifts and compliments wouldn`t get me the ladies.
I found tsbmag.com and read everything! I knew all the pua lingo, I knew how to go about an interaction, I knew what to say, how to show value, everything! I knew how… BUT I never practiced in field. I couldn`t cold approach, but I could hold a conversation with any girl as long as I either wasn`t interested, was talking to a friend`s girl, or convinced myself that this girl was way out of my league. I had all the skills (and still do) to get the girls but inside I knew my sticking points; approach anxiety and escalation.
I’m an engineering student and I was just able to make sense of things. I wondered why things with women happened the way they did, I would find my answers, and things just clicked! I got to the point to where I could analyze a social situation and knew who of my friends would hook up, who was gonna get blown out later, and who would have zero success.
All that was cool at the time, but my best friend, who gets gorgeous women, was completely against the fact that a guy could actually learn how to get women. He used to just call me on my shit all the time. He was the type of guy who just got by on looks. He would get these girls and would either end up going nowhere with them or they would walk all over him, and I tried to tell him what I was learning but he never took me seriously. Until one night when he got screwed over about a year ago. His problem was simple, he showed too much interest and was too nice. The girl he was talking to took advantage of him and would leave his company to talk to other guys. I said dude look, take my advice this one time, if it doesn`t work then you ever have to listen to me again. I told him to cancel all his plans with her the next day, don`t give her any reason, and I told him when he goes to the party with her later that week to periodically leave her and go to other girls. Well he did and it worked perfectly!
She started to behave more how he wanted her to, but she then eventually became obsessive! She still calls him to this day and this was over a year ago! My friends saw this and soon started asking me questions. I would tell them why things were the way they were and they all started getting twice as many girls as they did before. I took one of my good friends and coached him personally, and he now has a girlfriend who he’s been with for almost a year. This guy has a hair lip and only 4 teeth in his top row, but his girlfriend is about a 7 out of 10. People caught wind of this and I was soon giving actually seminars, but what I was doing was killing my own game.
I loved the credibility so much that I stopped going after girls of my own. All I wanted was a girlfriend, I could get make-outs and even had a few girls that gave me head whenever I wanted, but none of these girls met my new found standards. I pretty much crammed a bunch of knowledge, but failed to ever work on my own issues which were anxiety and kino escalation. In other words, I wasted soooooo much time but gained a ton of respect. That, in return, made me feel like a fraud and that was detrimental to my game. I went into a mild state of depression because I felt like I wasted a year of my life, which I did. I stopped trying to get girls for about 3 months and then when I got back into it, I felt like just another afc.
But this time I told myself, screw all this bullshit making excuses crap, the routines and theories are pointless if I don`t go out. I stopped discussing girls with my friends, and kept to myself. I made changes to my appearance and developed a new social circle. I told myself that all of this was for me and not just to impress my buddies. I pretty much went underground with my sarging and developed my game alone( not that you have to but I needed to do this alone) . I`ve made more progress in the past few months than I did the year previous. I have way more options now and it feels amazing, I haven`t yet picked a girlfriend yet but I at least know now that I can get girls because I’ve done it multiple times and not just because I had the skills in my head.
This article wasn`t meant to be a skill tutorial or a new theory on pick up. This article is to try to reach those aspiring pua`s(which I am still labeled as), and inspire them to go out and actually practice what you learn, so then you don`t have to feel like a failure. Think about it this way, employers want to hire people with experience, not people who just memorized a book. Your knowledge is useless if you don`t practice! So with that in mind, get out, get experience, get comfortable, and get the girls! If this article helps one person I will be satisfied because every man deserves to have women in his life. So take what you like from this article and leave the rest. And to all of our experienced guys and pus`s, feel free to provide your input because I still have much to learn. Thanks
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.