Eight Common Dating Myths
Let`s face it, dating sucks. It sucks to be rejected by hot and busty babes, and it sucks to be alone. It sucks to be so nervous around a woman that you babble incoherently and it is even worse to act like a stud and have her slap you in front of your buddies. To make matters worse, masturbation can get awfully unsatisfying after a while, even with the best porn flick or sex toy. So what is the solution? Get out date, deal with the inevitable rejections, have fun, and learn about the machinery in your own head that leads to trouble and failure with women.
When it comes to dating, most men are intimidated by myths, misconceptions, and their denial of their power as men. But understanding the myths and the solutions will leave you free to flirt with and date women, and more importantly to create the sex life you have always wanted. We`ve listed a few dating myths below that will begin to shed light on your most common dating troubles. So wake up, smell the coffee, pay attention, and you just may learn something. Because even if you act like a know-it-all, we know the truth: You don`t. You have bought into some of these myths and they have caused you trouble somewhere.
Guys love to believe that they don`t have what it takes to get laid. And most men use their lack of success as an excuse for not dating and pursuing the women they really want. These men blame the system, society, social issues, and economic realities for their lack of sex`anyone but the man in the mirror. While being in a position of power or being a rock star will obviously get you a large pool of women to draw from, you too can get hot sex if you heed our advice.
Here is the good news and the bad news. The good news: There are hot and sexy women available to you tonight. Most women are looking for a man like you`a normal guy with normal desires and a normal job. The bad news: They want you to work to get them. Dating means flirting with women and initiating conversations with women.
But you do have what it takes to get women once you understand what the game is. Once again it comes down to pursuing women. Just doing it. Here is the secret: Many models complain that they cannot get a date. Many claim that men are too scared to approach them because of their beauty. Be in the small cadre of studs that flirts with the women they are attracted to and you`ll be miles ahead of the pack.
This is another horrible myth promoted by what we like to call SNAGS (Sensitive New Age Guys). The belief that being nice will get you laid is one of the worst ideas promoted over the past 20 years. Women want to be seduced and romanced. Do you really think they are looking for nice guys?
Most men think they if they like a woman, and she says that you are sweet interesting, or wonderful friend, that you are moving the relationship towards romance and sex. This is dead wrong. Women will either put you into the category offriend or lover, but not both. When you are nice only a woman will likely put you into the category of friend, but not lover. If you don`t believe this, just look around at all the jerks who have sex with hot women. Women certainly are not having sex with these guys because they are intellectually stimulating. No, these women are hot and heavy because these men are exciting, romantic, fun, and even a bit dangerous.
The solution? Don`t give up being interesting and nice (that too would be a fatal error), just bring out other parts of your personality. Bring out the romantic and let that guide you into sweeping a woman off her feet. Put yourself in her position and figure out what would turn her on and excite her. If you find yourself spending time discussing fascinating topics, but not romantic ones, change the subject back to her beauty. Memorize poetry and whisper passages into her ear.
Along the same lines as being a nice guy, we`ve seen this myth played out time and time again by desperate fools trying to score. The ploy usually works this way: A horny guy is a friend with a woman he wants to date. He thinks that if she opens up to him emotionally then it will likely lead to sex. He thinks that if he can solve her emotional problems she will want to date him. But, to his surprise, things pan out differently. Suddenly she starts to discuss every problem in her life with him. The guy thinks this is good and listens more and more and more to her complaints. In fact, he thinks that the more he listens to her, the better the chances are of her going to bed with him. She starts crying on his shoulder more frequently and he starts taking her out for ice cream, expensive dinners, and even loan her money when she becomes too depressed to work. Now it turns ugly. She begins telling him about her problems with other men. Our novice therapist stays in the role of advice-giver. Eventually she stars dating the jerks and coming to him for advice.
Never be a therapist to a woman. The most important thing in dealing with a woman is to
make your romantic interests known right away so she thinks of you as a potential lover, not a friend. When you are become a confidant to a woman she begins to associate you with her negative emotions and negative experiences, putting you further out of the running for being her lover. If you are in this position with any woman right now, stop being the therapist today. You are wasting your time and avoiding being out in the world pursuing other women. Get out now while you still have a chance.
This is the type of myth promoted by whiners. They search for lame reasons why they can`t meet women when in fact, there is no evidence anywhere to back up their claim. Does the high percentage of divorce and affairs justify this myth? No. Does the high number of singles (82 million in the United States) prove that this is indeed a fact? No. Does the large number of personals ads reflect this to be true? No. That is why it is called a myth and simply unfounded. Enough said.
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About Ron Louis Ron Louis, 33, is author of Sexpectations: Women Talk Candidly About Sex and Dating, and co-author of â€ How to Succeed with Women,â€ â€œHow to Succeed with Men,â€ â€œThe Sex Loverâ€™s Book of Lists,â€ and the â€œMastery Programâ€ tape series. He is also a dating coach. From ages 18-20 he toured the U.S. as a guitarist in a rock-and-roll band, opening for the Henry Rollins Band, and others. His website is How to Succeed With Women