The Subtle and Fine Art of Flirting Uncovered
By: Bobby Rio
You will find interacting with women much more fun and productive if you master the fine art of flirting. I struggled for years with an inability to flirt. I found that I was either too shy and talked too little, or I would get overly aggressive and scare a woman off.
One night, I discovered a key concept in flirting that had always alluded me. Once I discovered this simple, but often overlooked concept, my interactions with women not only became more successful, but I began to enjoy them more.
In the article below I am going to teach you the subtle and fine art of flirting.
Flirting is a secret language. It really is.
But it is a universal language that is quickly interpreted by the other person for what it is. And that person can either choose to join you in this form of communication, or they can reject it.
The secret to always having your flirtations embraced is to simply make them fun. Not only make them fun, but make them irresistibly fun and satisfying. Most interactions are mundane, boring, or down right awkward… so if you possess the ability to make an interaction fun, women will line up in droves to communicate with you.
There were three key factors I discovered one night that quickly took my game to the next level.
Facial expressions and glances
The basics behind flirting are well taught and documented. The premise you are shooting for is to be playful with a girl. Almost immature. You’re ideally trying to bring out that playful little girl hidden inside of her.
But it all must be done without bringing any attention to what is going on. It is like a graceful, elegant dance. And the smoother you are, the more involved the girl will become in the dance.
I used to fail because my dance was always choppy. I could never lose myself in the rhythm of the flirtation. I thought too much about it. I tried too hard to say something witty. I would try to tease a woman but wind up just insulting her. When a woman would get playful with me I would ruin the tension and suspense of the moment by immediately telegraphing my interest.
And then one night, I got “it.”
I realized that a subtle glance, at just the right moment, says more than any words possibly could.
I was standing near behind an extremely hot woman waiting to order a drink. She was sipping a mixed drink from a straw. Something made her laugh and she blew into the glass and the drink poured out.
I wanted to talk to this girl so I desperately searched my mind for something witty to say. I drew a blank.
So instead of forcing something unfunny or awkward, I waited for the exact moment she looked up at me and our eyes met, and simply shook my head back and forth and gave her one those looks that says “Can’t take you anywhere.”
In that instant I learned the first of the three factors; timing.
Every interaction has a beat. And once you learn to get in tune with the beat of an interaction, your social intelligence will appear to sky rocket. The great stand up comedians have mastered the art of timing. Rent videos of some of the all time greats… and study how these use timing.
When the woman at the bar spilled her drink I waited for the right moment. I didn’t rush to make a comment, making my interest too apparent. And I didn’t wait until later to use it as a joke. I simply waited for the inevitable moment that our eyes met, and subtly shook my head. She smiled.
She then turned to her friends and started chatting with them. I squeezed in to order my drink. My mind, still trained to make the same mistakes I’ve always made, is now racing to find something witty to follow up with.
While the bartender was handing me my drink, one of her friends turned and asked me some question. I then turned into the group of three girls. I said something that made the group laugh. I then caught eyes with the one I was interested in and gave her subtle look that said “don’t spill it this time.”
Which is the second factor; subtly.
It would have been easier to make a big deal and say something like “don’t spill it.” And that would have even been fine. But unsaid, sub communication is always much more powerful then the spoken word. By letting things go unsaid, you’re almost creating an inside joke that only the two of you share. You’re also showing her that you’re in tune with her wave length.
The girl was a little tipsy. Not stupid drunk, but buzzed enough to know she was a little drunk. Later in the conversation she starts telling me a story about something that had happened to her the night before. She is excited about the story and talking quite fast. She trips over a word or two.
I then give her a look similar to the Rock’s eyebrow raise. Not a blatant eye brow raise, but a look that says “you lost me sweety.”
She then slapped my chest and said “stop it”
And its on.
The last factor is facial expression and glances. These are absolutely crucial in sub communication. The right facial expression or glance at the right moment says a thousand times more than anything you could fill the dead air with.
Once again, watch the best standup comedians. They know how to use their facial expressions to generate laughs.
The object of these three factors is to tease her, get playful, and flirt, all with sub communication.
And then continue to build the tension. The longer you can build the tension, the more powerful the connection the both of you will feel.
You will find that once you master these three factors, and it can be done in one night, you will begin to understand the fine rhythm of flirting.