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Three essentials not to wear on the breakup date


A Terrible Break UpOkay, I admit it – I don’t like wearing pink.

I think it’s gay.

And if you are gay – it is still gay, and not in a good way.

But if you find yourself trying to get out of a relationship, and you don’t know how, wearing pink, along with a few other essentials, is the best thing to do.

Of course, it goes without saying that these particular wardrobe pieces should never be worn on a date that you want to turn into an overnight date.


So here it is – three essentials not to wear on the breakup date.

Nobody likes breaking up with someone. Even if you don’t like them, but sometimes it needs to be done. These three essentials are the perfect things to turn her off, and get her to break up with you.

Slim Jeans

These seem to be a craze among the emu-not as-trendy-as-they-may-think-crowd.

Here’s a scenario.

nudies slim kim 31/32"So you are getting ready for your date… The girl you’ve been seeing has been clingy, smoochy, and she wears a lot of pink – so much so, you might want to drink her when you have an upset stomach. It’s time to break up with her, and you don’t mind doing it.

The only thing is – she cries a lot. When you didn’t call her at exactly 12:01 on her birthday, she cried to you over the phone all day. What do you do?

Chances are this type of girl generally wants you to be her manly George Flinstone-esque kind of guy. This evens out, her light-touchy-feely persona.

So when dressing for your date, here’s what you need to do. Wear slim jeans – especially if you have never worn them before.

Skinny jeans on a date with a girly-girl will serve two purposes, and pose two questions. Purpose 1. You won’t threaten other girls – and it might land you another date. Question 1. Is he serious! Purpose 2. We need to talk; I don’t think this is going to work. Question 2. Is he gay?

The fact that she will question this will prohibit your ever dating her again.

About James R. Sanders

James knew that he was going to be involved in media somehow when he realized that the only person that had something worth saying was him. He's not egotistical though, his work regularly appears in the Philadelphia Inquirer, OrigiVation Magazine, Black Star News,, Wow Magazine, and the Huffington Post.

Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it.  Girl's don't make it easy for you.  She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty.  If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.


  1. Anony

    April 22, 2009 at 4:35 am

    This is one of the worst articles i have read from TSB. 99% of the time i get something useful out of an article, however this one seems poorly written. It comes off as some sort of weird vendetta towards people that dress different than the author. I dunno, the whole article just comes off as inconsistent.

  2. MikeStoute

    April 22, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    I think it’s really funny and at the same time it relates to some popular stereotypes.

    Anony, are you popping that collar? or perhaps rocking a double-popped collar?

  3. James R. Sanders

    April 22, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Dear Anony,
    Thanks so much for reading my story. I so glad that you don’t like it. Believe it or not – these tips really do work. You see… once upon an unfashionable time, I was like you.

    Popped collars, slim jeans (Before they were in style) and bracelets galore.

    I thought I was the shiznit. But then the strangest thing happened – my girlfriend broke up with me, and the girl I was cheating on her with; broke up with me too!

    You can imagine my disdain. When I asked each of them why, they said, “your clothes!”

    Hence the column – hence my sarcasm.

    If you’ve found yourself in a situation such as mine (As I am sure you have) you would want to share your wealth of knowledge with the world too.

    It’s okay though – really it is.

    I just hope that I continue to write columns that you hate.

    Keep reading – I will be especially condescending next week, just for you.

    Keep it fashionable – and stop popping those damn collars!

  4. Nathan

    April 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Don’t listen to James, Anony. Keeps those popped collars, and if you need more fashion advice, check out

  5. MikeStoute

    April 23, 2009 at 10:06 pm


  6. zip

    April 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Hey but why does Mystery and everybody else allways wear bracelets? Are they stupid I do not think so, somewhere here on this site you also suggested wearing braclets and I like them they make my arm look better.

  7. Jenny

    April 28, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Thought this article was kind of funny, except… you don’t know how to spell. Which pretty much nullified any cred you had.

    For the kids playing at home, the phrase is “break up”, not “brake up”.

  8. Micael

    August 26, 2011 at 11:29 am

    You SUCK. Worst article ever.

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