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Is It Really Indicators of Disinterest?

rejectionSometimes a girl is flat out not interested in talking to you…

It happens to the best of us.

But sometimes it is too easy to mistake passiveness for disinterest.

Let me explain by telling a short story that took place this past Friday night.  It was my girl’s birthday and a handful of us headed out to a local bar (Big props to Egan and Sons in Montclair, NJ).

There was only one single girl in the group I was with.  She was a cute Colombian chick who had recently come out of a long term relationship.  According to a couple of her friends she was “looking to take her mind of her ex.” Proof enough for me that she was down to party.

But my friend, Tom, was less than convinced.

All night, the girl, Lina, had been fumbling with her phone… constantly checking text messages… and seemed genuinely distracted.

Although Tom was eager to get a good taste of the Colombia pie that I had been speaking so highly of… he was just utterly convinced that Lina had no interest in meeting a new guy that night.

“I’m just getting a distracted vibe from her” was in his constant excuse.

It was hard to argue with his logic.  I had once been scared away by that very same sort of vibe.  The quiet, passive, almost disinterested vibe.  Girls like that just never seemed worth the effort to me.

It was easier to spot out of the outgoing, aggressive, and hungry looking chicks… and then target them.

But the problem with that logic is…

Everyone shares that very same logic.

Which means the aggressive, flirtatious girls have the most competition.  There is likely to be a dozen or so hungry wolves already circling them.  It will not be easy to feed.

Girls like Lina scare off the competition.

And sometimes it’s warranted.

But sometimes you’re receiving a completely different message then she is sending.

Case in point, Friday night.

As the night went on, Tom pretty much gave up on Lina.  Even though a couple of her friends hinted to him that he should go for it, he decided to tackle easier prey.

Not a smart move.

A smart hunter quickly moved in on Lina the minute Tom walked away. 

He laid on the charm.  He got her talking.  He got her to put her damn phone away for good.  He got her smiling, touching, feeling, laughing, and lusting…

When he left to go to the bathroom Lina pulled out the cell phone again, and started fumbling around, looking disinterested as ever.

I moved next to her to see what the deal was…

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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