How to Keep Your Power Edge With Women
“I’m hungry. Come over to my house. And we’ll head over to The Barnyard for a burger and some beers. Wear something cute and summery.”
Most guys would not have the balls to say something like that to a woman with whom they are setting up a first or second encounter.
They are afraid they might offend the woman. Or seem too dominant. Or they’ll think, “Maybe she doesn’t like burgers.”
Here is how most guys would handle this conversation:
“Hey, what are you doing? Oh. Are you hungry? What do you feel like eating? Do you like burgers? I was thinking burgers and beer at The Barnyard. Is that okay? Cool. What time should I pick you up?”
The very second after that conversations ends, the man has just handed over a large portion of his power to the woman. On a silver platter. And he will most likely never get it back.
Many guys on the surface say that they understand that women like a man who takes charge, is confident, and leads.
Yet, when it comes down to it… they are just too scared to actually act in this manner.
Do you find that you are continually giving your power away to beautiful women? Even sometimes to not so beautiful women?
Here is what you need to understand.
Many men look around a bar or club and see the majority of women with men fawning over them. In many cases, even fat and ugly women seem to have their pick of men. And we begin to believe that women hold all the power.
But this isn’t the case.
The real power is held by the small fraction of men at the very top- who actually give women what they want.
These men understand that by holding onto their natural born power- women will always play the role of the pursuer. Women are looking to take that power. But once you give it to them… you suddenly go from pursued to the pursuer… and the woman now holds the power.
You’ll notice this when you display the slightest bit of power to a woman. She’ll immediately test you to see if she can take it. Usually she will get really touchy or flirty just to see how eager you become. If you can stand your ground, and maintain control of the frame, then this is the point where a woman usually realizes that she is dealing with a man. And not an eager little boy.
Most men give their power away within seconds simply through the act of showing hesitation before the approach.
If you are stuck in your own head, going back and forth trying to gather up enough courage to talk to a woman… you’ve just given her power.
If you call a woman to set up a date, but then wait for her to give you the “okay” before taking the lead and setting it up… you’ve just given her power.
If you’re with a woman and sense that it’s an appropriate moment to kiss her… but don’t… you’ve just given her power.
If you’re driving her around, paying for everything, always calling, and putting up with her flaky behavior… you’ve just given her power.
And once you give away power… it is VERY hard to get it back.
The best and most effective way to keep your power with women is to set the precedent early of how you expect her to act.
And if she doesn’t meet your expectations… be willing to walk away.
The easiest way to do this is to know exactly what you want.
You need to be on a mission for specific results. You need have a clearly define vision of what you want. You need a purpose that is beyond some cute 7 you are chatting with in a bar.
When you are out, define for yourself how your night is going to go. Decide who you feel like talking to, and talk to them.
Take control of the conversation immediately. Hold onto the more dominant frame throughout the interaction.
You are the judge.
You are talking to her to see if she fits into the reality you’ve defined for yourself.
Maintain the control.
When you feel the conversation has run its course. End it. Tell her you’ve got to go. Tell her you’ll call her later. When you call, tell her what you want to do. Tell her to come over. Tell her to wear something cute.
And if she doesn’t.
Be willing to walk away.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.