free hit counters

How to Keep Your Power Edge With Women


“I’m hungry.  Come over to my house. And we’ll head over to The Barnyard for a burger and some beers.  Wear something cute and summery.”

Most guys would not have the balls to say something like that to a woman with whom they are setting up a first or second encounter.

They are afraid they might offend the woman.  Or seem too dominant.  Or they’ll think, “Maybe she doesn’t like burgers.”

Here is how most guys would handle this conversation:

“Hey, what are you doing?  Oh.  Are you hungry?  What do you feel like eating?  Do you like burgers?  I was thinking burgers and beer at The Barnyard.  Is that okay?  Cool.  What time should I pick you up?”

The very second after that conversations ends, the man has just handed over a large portion of his power to the woman.  On a silver platter.  And he will most likely never get it back.

Many guys on the surface say that they understand that women like a man who takes charge, is confident, and leads.

Yet, when it comes down to it… they are just too scared to actually act in this manner.

Do you find that you are continually giving your power away to beautiful women?  Even sometimes to not so beautiful women?

==> Video reveals weird mind game that forces a girl to chase you

Here is what you need to understand.

Many men look around a bar or club and see the majority of women with men fawning over them.  In many cases, even fat and ugly women seem to have their pick of men.  And we begin to believe that women hold all the power.

But this isn’t the case.

Who Holds the REAL POWER Between Men and Women

The real power is held by the small fraction of men at the very top- who actually give women what they want.

These men understand that by holding onto their natural born power- women will always play the role of the pursuer.  Women are looking to take that power.  But once you give it to them… you suddenly go from pursued to the pursuer… and the woman now holds the power.

You’ll notice this when you display the slightest bit of power to a woman.  She’ll immediately test you to see if she can take it.  Usually she will get really touchy or flirty just to see how eager you become. If you can stand your ground, and maintain control of the frame, then this is the point where a woman usually realizes that she is dealing with a man.  And not an eager little boy.

Common ways men give power away

Most men give their power away within seconds simply through the act of showing hesitation before the approach.

If you are stuck in your own head, going back and forth trying to gather up enough courage to talk to a woman… you’ve just given her power.

If you call a woman to set up a date, but then wait for her to give you the “okay” before taking the lead and setting it up… you’ve just given her power.

If you’re with a woman and sense that it’s an appropriate moment to kiss her… but don’t… you’ve just given her power.

If you’re driving her around, paying for everything, always calling, and putting up with her flaky behavior… you’ve just given her power.

And once you give away power… it is VERY hard to get it back.

How to keep your power with women

The best and most effective way to keep your power with women is to set the precedent early of how you expect her to 2008 Grand National Roadster Showact.

And if she doesn’t meet your expectations… be willing to walk away.

The easiest way to do this is to know exactly what you want.

You need to be on a mission for specific results.  You need have a clearly define vision of what you want.  You need a purpose that is beyond some cute 7 you are chatting with in a bar.

When you are out, define for yourself how your night is going to go.  Decide who you feel like talking to, and talk to them.

Take control of the conversation immediately.  Hold onto the more dominant frame throughout the interaction.

You are the judge.

You are talking to her to see if she fits into the reality you’ve defined for yourself.

Maintain the control.

When you feel the conversation has run its course.  End it.  Tell her you’ve got to go.  Tell her you’ll call her later.  When you call, tell her what you want to do.  Tell her to come over.  Tell her to wear something cute.

And if she doesn’t.

Be willing to walk away.

==> Video reveals weird mind game that forces a girl to chase you

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.


  1. hey dude

    June 24, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    this is good stuff. i would be fucked if i didnt find this website

  2. Adonis

    June 24, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    Funny thing is, when I first read your opening sentence (“I’m hungry. Come over to my house. And we’ll…”) it seemed so standard that I was thinking, “of course you would say something like that”… Its strange how things that now sound so normal, would have once sounded completely foreign to me. Once you progress, you often forget how lousy and timid you once were!

  3. Kevin

    June 25, 2009 at 1:34 am

    You know, this isn’t just good advice in dealing with women, but with all the people we deal with in our everyday interactions, including other men.

    The sales guy at Bestbuy, people at work, everyone. Work on maintaining power in all of your interactions and it will eventually come naturally to you when dealing with women. It becomes who you are and not just something you do.

  4. Eric

    June 25, 2009 at 11:50 am

    You just stuck the dismount with pinpoint accuracy. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Mr. Rio, this post is definitely one for the books.

  5. peteTheFreshman

    June 25, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I agree… great post

  6. White Wolf

    August 6, 2009 at 8:04 am

    I told her to wear something cute and she punched me in the face!
    Mad eh?

    • MikeStoute

      August 6, 2009 at 4:22 pm

      I hope you’re kidding Wolf…

  7. Anonymous

    September 28, 2009 at 3:50 am

    That is some great stuff a real eye opener.

  8. Arockalypse

    January 13, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    If you give woman power you’ll never take it back.
    Try to steal power from a woman!
    If she doesn’t give you power be willing to walkaway
    (I am a charming guy and i change girls every day so i never give them so much power, i steal power from them and after a while i leave the girl)
    If you’re FAT, UGLY and DO NOT HAVE MONEY then you give up on finding good woman. Find your piece and spend few nights with her and marry her. Its the only Choice

  9. j

    February 28, 2010 at 1:05 am

    You’re a sexist douche. In a good relationship the power is interchangeable. I love it when my man is a little controlling SOME of the time, but in a new relationship? No. The only girls you’re ever going to get are the ones with no self respect, and only for the odd fuck- that’s right: someone who’s probably ugly, with annoying issues and shit for brains. You want to put your cock in something that’s going to satisfy? Respect the woman, let her know she’s going into things on equal footing. You make a woman feel bad and worthless by controlling her, you’re not going to get the hot blowjobs and wild sex you’d get from a confident woman, you’re just getting some second rate girl who’s thinking too much about how to please you to get the job done.
    Treat a woman how you want to be treated and she’ll do the same for you. Take it from a girl who’s been with men and women. Honestly, you boys who need advice about this from internet sites don’t have much room for misguidance from this fool.
    I really just wanted to see pics up emma watsons skirt,stumbled across this, and now I’m mad and sad for all you out there who think this works.

    • Paula

      October 6, 2010 at 4:09 am

      Seriously, this is by far the crappiest piece of advice I’ve read in a very long time.
      I very much agree with you J. Very well put.

      Please gentleman remember this well: Truely empowered woman who love themselves, wont see you man as the first important topic on the list. It is easy for a confident woman to walk away if she feels controlled or manipulated because she treats herself in a respectfull maner and wont appreciate when other’s wont.

  10. defeat

    April 20, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    I don’t think anyone was talking about ‘healthy relationships’ in this post but rather finding who you consider to be a good match. If that match is only for the night, then don’t worry about it. If it’s long term, then you can invest your manners and feelings I suppose. It’s 2010, casual flings are very normal and to me this post reads like a message to the guy sitting in the corner waiting for a girl to come up to him.

  11. Freya

    September 18, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    WTF. Do people actually think this works? O.o Any time a guy tries bossing me around it’s a turn off. You can be confident and sexy without ordering girls around/being an asshole.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login


Never Run Out of Things to Say to Women Again

  • Conversation Games That Create Attraction
  • The Secret to Making “Small Talk” Sexier
  • How to Make Her Laugh (and make her want you)
  • 3 Tricks to Avoid Awkward Silences

Yes... You Can
HAVE My Collection
of Word-for-Word Conversations with Women Report
(you get the PDF Report + Full Audio Training)

* This is a FREE service and no credit card required.