Cut Your Dating Losses Quick/Let Your Winners Ride
Last weekend I was down in Atlantic City. Although I’m not a huge gambler, from time to time I like to hit up the casinos.
Very early on in my “gambling life” I got sucked into the world of craps. There is just something about the energy surrounding a craps table that always seems to draw me in.
The first time I ever played was out in Vegas, and as luck would have it, I started lighting up the table with my rolls. My pile of chips grew exponentially… and so did the chips of all of the players at the table.
At one point, I decide that I’ve won enough, so I put the dice down, and begin to gather up my chips. Just then an older gentleman playing next to me almost choked… he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and says:
“Kid, you NEVER leave a table while it’s hot”
He then went on to explain to me the two crucial rules of playing craps:
1. Always run with a “hot” table. Dice tend to get streaky… and when they start falling the right way ride it all the way to the end.
2. Never challenge a cold table. At craps it’s critical to avoid the classic gambler instinct to keep betting to win back lost money because “your luck has to change” soon.
That advice has won me quite a bit of money over the years at the craps table… but is has also served me really well in my dating life.
In the world of dating and pickup this advice is priceless… but very seldom followed.
Let your winners ride
I’ve had the opportunity to sit in on and observe quite a few bootcamps given by some of the top dating coaches in the world. And there is one common element that I see in almost all of their students.
They always eject too early when a conversation is going good.
And they always hang around too long when a conversation is obviously flat.
I think this falls back to our natural reaction to want to take our winnings and run. Many guys, who are just beginning to improve their dating skills, are so excited when they successfully open a woman and maybe get a smile out of her… that they become paranoid that they will blow it- so they eject on a high note.
I know that I used to do this all of the time. If I was in a conversation with a girl and I was beginning to sense she was becoming attracted to me… I felt like I already won. At that point I would often excuse myself from her, allowing myself to feel victorious the rest of the night.
On the other hand… I would find it almost impossible to eject from a dead end set. Even when it was blatantly obvious that I was not connecting with any of the girls in a group- I would often find myself sticking around all night.
I think that sticking around allows us to believe that we haven’t lost yet.
Both of these mechanisms are really just there to protect our fragile egos.
But the sad part is- this actually prevents us from seeing success.
Every pickup is a game of craps
From now I want you to look at a pickup attempt like a craps table. When you start a conversation it is just like rolling the dice.
Give it a little time to see if you have a “hot” table or a “cold” table. If you sense that there are some sparks flying from the conversation- make a vow to yourself that you’re going to let this winner ride.
This simply means that when you’re having a good conversation with a woman- take it till the end. The end comes when you either ask for her number, or go for the kiss.
But on the other hand, if you enter into a conversation with a woman and its feels “cold” or flat- simply excuse yourself and leave. There is no reason to waste your resources on a cold table. Not only will the woman drain you of your precious time at the bar… often she’ll kill quite a bit of your self confidence in the meantime.
By following the rule of “letting winners ride” you will spend much more of your time engaged with women you’re having fun with. You know when you’re “on.”
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.