Approaching with Genuine Integrity: A Brief Memoir in Your Life

Picture this.

You?re me and I?m you. I?m reading, you?re writing. You?re in a Starbucks on 1st Avenue thinking of a good article to write, while I?m?well?wherever you are right now.


So you?re chilling as yellow streams of motion that are the fleets of NYC cabs whoosh by the window. You look out onto the street: the glow of the restaurant signs, the sway of leafless trees, the dots of people walking by. You muse over an article to write when a noise snaps your body upright.

A laugh. Then a voice. A female voice. A sexy female voice. And that sexy female voice is speaking Spanish.

You peer over the top of your laptop. A few tables over a nicely tanned, blonde hair Latina beauty is talking amiably on her cell phone.

You take note of this.

?She?s on her cell phone,? you remind yourself. ?No need to approach her yet. Just chill.?

You?re cool with that.

You go back to staring out the window, watching. But now you can?t muse. Now you can?t concentrate. You know what you have to do. As a man. As a man who lives with genuine integrity.

You must approach this girl.

The outcome is irrelevant, but the approach is necessary.

You know this. You understand this. You will live by this.

Okay. Now you can relax. You start typing.



And typing.

You type so much, you temporarily forget blonde Latina beauty. Her mellifluous Spanish is now just white noise. You?re typing.

Eventually, you take a break from typing. You go back to staring out the window, watching. But something?s not right.

Something?s changed. Something?s missing?

Before you realize what it is, you see blonde Latina beauty walk by the window.

No! She?s leaving! She?s getting away!

Your body jerks upright. But already there?s the voice, ?She?s already gone, dude. If you try to approach now it?s just going to be creepy.?

You sat back, try to relax in the tensest way. You try to get lost in the typing, but now it?s impossible.

You know why. You understand why. But will you live by it?

You are literally at the edge of your seat. Go or not go? Go or not go?


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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.