Get the Swagger: A Player’s Guide to Exuding Confidence



How to Have Swag

We’ve all heard it: “Get the swagger, get the girls.” We can all picture it, too. Guys who are naturally attractive to babes just carry themselves differently from the he-bitches hating on the sidelines. Men with swagger seem more relaxed, more at ease, and more ready to laugh; yet, they also seem more alert, more in-tune, and more sure of themselves. Most people will say, “Oh that’s just the way he is…” and never attempt to put a swagger in their step. However, cultivating swagger is simply a byproduct of two converging forces: your beliefs and your emotional state.

A man’s belief system is probably the greatest or worst investment he will ever make in himself. Literally, what a man believes will shape every second of his life. No amount of money or success can remedy a set of bad beliefs. Conversely, no amount of depravity or bad luck can shake a man who has positive beliefs. With so much at stake, why would any man choose to wire himself with a bad belief system?

Well. There are lots of reasons. And most of those reasons are way beyond the scope of an article on “the swagger.” So let’s only explore the beliefs most relevant to putting your pimp foot forward. To get “the swag” you have to wake up believing everyone is your friend. Literally, people are either your supportive cheerleaders, or they don’t exist at all. There is no room for haters. If someone wants to spit Hateraid in your face, that person gets promptly ignored. Any swagger worth its sway repels negativity and attracts awesomeness. Haters do not apply!

Next, the swag lives by its own standards. A sexy swagger doesn’t have time to survey everyone it passes and find out if they all approve. Walking with a swagger is the exact opposite of walking on eggshells. Swagging men are men-on-the-move, stomping those eggshells into oblivion. To them, sitting around and fretting whether they’re “offending” people is a big waste of time. In fact, an effective swagger must be offensive to some people. He-bitches who cannot process the inherent awesomeness of the swag will go into a “hater feeding frenzy” similar to a rabid shark with Down Syndrome. He-bitch haters lash out at the swagger because the swagger is so money. So before you put the haters on ignore (per the above paragraph), thank them as they are letting you know you’ve swagged correct.

Another belief in the king’s crown of swaggerers is the belief that hooking up with a babe is as much of a win for her as it is for you. Sounds obvious, yet how many guys drive themselves crazy over making the “perfect” impression? While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking pride in everything you do (in fact, that’s implicit in having a swagger), there’s something very wrong in doing something simply to “impress” another person. That, by definition, is manipulation. If you are a guy who truly believes that a man (with a swagger) and a babe hooking up is a big win for both parties, than you are a guy who saves himself a ton of girl-related headaches. If not, those headaches are putting a kink in your swag.

How to Get Swag  (Emotions)

With positive beliefs, your swag is halfway there. To get the other half swagging, get the good emotions flowing. While emotions change on a moment-to-moment basis, there are ways to exert some consistency over your emotional health. Just like listening to the Rocky soundtrack will get you amped for the gym, you should know what gets you feeling awesome. For example, many guys find doing cardio workouts or lifting weights puts them in a positive state. Also, eating healthy foods like brown carbs (i.e. brown rice, wheat bread), lean protein, and lots of water also helps. Perhaps the quickest and most effective “emotional pump-up” is simply beaming a genuine smile. It’s impossible to simultaneously feel negative and beam a huge smile – it’s just too weird. Eventually the smile will win and an avalanche of positive feeling and awesomeness will sweep over the body.

It may seem simple, but a true swagger is what separates the macks from the he-bitches. Guys who walk with swagger are constantly trailed by girl-groupies. If you cement the beliefs and habits above, you will exude attractive confidence with every step you take. Give it a try – write out (in your own words) the three beliefs and try actively implementing a few of the “emotional pumping” suggestions. If you’re not walking with a swagger within a few weeks, I’ll buy you a beer (for real).


About Rob J.

Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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  1. Nathan Schacherer

    September 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    nice one Rob 🙂 the swag is power!

  2. Facebook User

    September 22, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Swag on gentlemen.. Be the man and own it.

    Soulja Boy says, “Hop up out the bed, turn my swag on.”

    I say, “You shouldn’t have to turn on your swag. You should have so much swag you’re swaggin in your sleep.”

  3. Pingback: Swagger | PUA Lingo

  4. Anonymous

    October 22, 2010 at 2:53 am

    this article is money, swag on playas

  5. Anonymous

    August 1, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Fuck yeah swagger on all day bitches

  6. realistic

    August 21, 2011 at 11:12 am

    this is ok.. in your early 20’s…. people (well most ) grow up and find swag to in fact be manipulation. bcuz thats what it is. well young people. swag is you changing yourself to manipulate others to benefit a short lived image. and if you think swag is real? dont second guess yourself. the novelty wears off because A) ppl arent naturally like that. B) most women grow up and are looking for something real. and last but not least, most ppl who think they have swag are usually unhappy and , due to having to manipulate others for a short lived image. men with swag dont care about women its a science.

    • badboy69cancer

      August 21, 2011 at 8:01 pm

      You’re a negative dumb who probably spends his friday night jerking. Swagg is the way you carry yourself 24/7, 365. Its how you feel about yourself and your inner-confidence. You are obviously a hater.

    • Anonymous

      September 2, 2011 at 9:55 pm

      Your name obviously doesnt fit you to well because REALISICly speaking, swag is confidence, NOT changing yourself to being someone your not. There are so many different types of swag not just a one size fits all, you find your own, hence why you see some guys that you question how they got the girl there with. Swag, like BADBOY69CANCER said, is about how you feel about yourself and inner confidence, so get a good understanding about something before you TRY to bash it. Dont be a he-bitch.

    • tinygurl;)

      November 14, 2011 at 4:13 am

      no more need be said fuck off and get some respect

    • Anonymous

      February 29, 2012 at 12:44 am

      Swag will get you women, what you do with those women is up to you and her. Sometimes both are looking for a one night stand, sometimes a relationship will happen.

      Even when you are in a relationship swag is still important for things like job interviews.

    • Anonymous

      May 2, 2015 at 9:42 am

      You most don’t have swag !!!!

  7. Aki

    August 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Love this article. Every man needs to abide by the swag, not just for the sake or picking up chicks but just to have the sense of self-confidence.

    P.S. – Will this work for guys who 5’7 and under?

  8. Nick

    August 21, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Rob is a beast, get your swag up playas and keep doin you

  9. swagmastaflex

    December 24, 2011 at 1:48 am

    ight my playas this sh*t is the bangin ist guide uva ight.
    duces up from the 604

  10. Anonymous

    August 22, 2012 at 4:41 am

    like the man said its all you. clothes don’t matter its core material. try to hold up conversations with any female even if its your relatives. no women likes a shy guy. always approach a girl in a casual manner even if its just to compliment her clothes. furthermore telling a girl she’s beautiful is the best way in. I’m only 17 and have had only one girl in my life for 3 years now. swag is just a corny phrase made up by haters. if you really have it you know it. its something special. like magic no homo. girls will be all around. (i think this only applies to high school but idk)

  11. the blakley

    January 26, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    go jackoff u dont no nothing

  12. the blakley

    January 26, 2013 at 9:40 pm


  13. Mark

    October 9, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Rob, you are hilarious! “Put your pimple foot forward” and “a frenzied shark with Down Syndrome?” Love the advice. If you got the swagger like Jagger, you will bag her.

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