The Kevin McCallister Home Security System: Just In Time For Christmas!
Do you unexpectedly find yourself HOME ALONE? Are you afraid of bandits invading your house and causing THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF WATER DAMAGE? Have you ever proclaimed, ?This is MY house, I HAVE to defend it?? If so, you should install THE KEVIN McCALLISER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM.
Based on STATE OF THE ART blueprints drawn by an eight-year-old, THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM guarantees to fortify your by harnessing the BOOBY-TRAP potential of everyday household items. Today?s burglars are PERSISTANT ? it?s going to take a lot more than a SHOT IN THE GROIN from an air rifle out a doggy door to deter these criminals! So SCARE robbers into SUBMISSION with:
So simple a KINDERGARTNER could install it! ORDER just in time for CHRISTMAS and receive:
Win the RECOGNITION of your ENTIRE FAMILY by brazenly telling bandits ?I?m NOT afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I?M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!? after you CALL TODAY for THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM!
THE KEVIN McCALLISTER HOME SECURITY SYSTEM is also available for your hotel room*! CALL TODAY!
*Only valid in New York City
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.