A Word on Approaching: The Cue Ball Effect
An old proverb states action defines a man. Conversely, an even older proverb posits inaction defines a he-bitch. He-bitches are spectators and haters; real men are proactive and driven. That’s because real men step up and set things in motion. I call this a “License to Man.” A License to Man isn’t some flimsy card you stick in your wallet and pull out once-in-a-while; instead, your License to Man is life-well-lived credo that necessitates you continually take action. When you take action (as a man), you live an action-filled life. That’s a rule to live by:
Action begets action.
The ultimate he-bitch fantasy is one where the he-bitch lies around in his blob existence as girls continually call him, court him, and show up to his blob-pad. That’s NOT how it works in the real world. Nor is it how it works in a man’s world. In the real world of a man, it’s a man’s masculine duty to make the first move, the second move, and all the proceeding moves that move the interaction forward. That means it’s your man-job to walk up to the girl, initiate contact with her, put your hands on her, lead her, kiss her, and to do an assortment of other verbs in the active tense that conclude with getting the girl.
That’s just how it works.
Should a girl take the initiative at some point (i.e. call you, kiss you), that’s bonus points. However, true men never even entertain the idea of not acting as the prime mover. It offends their masculinity. It offends every notion they have of what it means to be sexy. It negates the Cue Ball Effect, which dictates that the man always pro-acts, everyone else reacts.
Just like a cue ball smashing a rack and scattering balls across a pool table, true men walk into a situation and shatter the status quo just by dint of having a License to Man. This means people will love them, hate them, envy them, worship them, curse them, bless them, chase them, watch them, cry over them and want to be them. But real men don’t worry about any of this. Real men just act. Shamelessly, real men hurl themselves into situations without fear or reservation. Women respond to real men of action because they sense their masculine certainty.
Eventually, the process comes full circle. The men you see women chasing are long-time License to Man cardholders. These men have taken such substantial action, women just tune into their masculine wavelengths. When you step up to a girl with complete and undeniable masculine action, women will chase you. It’s something to look out for, but not aspire toward. Rather, aspire to be a man of action. Be the cue ball.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.