The 10 Most Dangerous Sex Mistakes Men Make (Part 2)
MISTAKE #6: NOT LASTING 30-45 MINUTES IN BED
Here’s another beef I have with most “pop culture” sex books: they tell you “women don’t care how long you last in bed, and there isn’t really much you can do about it anyways. As long as you’re a nice guy, and you respect her wishes in bed, that’s all she really wants.” This type of advice is very politically correct, and will never offend anyone. It sounds very good in a sex book…but the problem is that in the real world it is pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT.
So here’s a little dose of reality:
Women DO want a guy who respects them OUTSIDE the bedroom, and they do want a guy who knows how to give them orgasms with foreplay. In fact, as I said before, it’s best to give her the first orgasm through foreplay.
BUT – even if you’re the “perfect boyfriend” outside the bedroom and you know every foreplay technique in the book, it’ll still count for NOTHING if you can only last a few minutes during intercourse. Women will never think of you as a good lover, and they will probably LAUGH at you behind your back for being a “two-pump chump.” This is because if you can’t last at least 20 minutes in bed (and preferably 30-45), then she’s pretty much guaranteed to never have an orgasm during intercourse. And the orgasms that she has during intercourse are the most powerful kind.
And contrary to popular belief, there are MANY things that you can do in bed to naturally improve your stamina. And when used correctly, these techniques actually INCREASE the pleasure you feel from sex, and don’t require you to distract yourself or reduce your own arousal in order to last longer.
You need to learn how to consistently last at least 20 minutes (and preferably 30-45 minutes) every time you have sex. Otherwise, she’ll always be wishing you could be more like the “bad boy” with great stamina who could make her cum over and over again on his cock.
MISTAKE #7: BEING SILENT AND NON-EXPRESSIVE IN BED
Another common sexual complaint women have is that most men are way to QUIET in bed. They don’t say anything during sex that could turn her on, and they’re even afraid to make NOISES that show how much they’re enjoying sex. This really turns women off. And when you think about it, it’s pretty obvious why.
I mean, what would you prefer: A woman who just laid there during sex as silent and still as a corpse, or a woman who lost herself in the throes of orgasmic passion, and was moaning and talking dirty into your ear the whole time? It’s pretty obvious when you put it that way, yet most men STILL act like silent, expressionless robots during sex.
If you’re serious about becoming good in bed, you need to learn how to turn a woman on with your words. You need to learn how to turn her on with “dirty talk,” AND with “romantic” talk that arouses her emotions. If you can’t do this, sex with you will seem mediocre, passionless, and boring.
MISTAKE #8: THINKING YOU NEED A BIG “TOOL” TO GIVE WOMEN ORGASMS
It’s very common for men to equate sexual prowess with genital size. Men commonly think that a bigger “tool” will “hit spots” that a smaller one won’t, and will give women more orgasms. But if you actually ask women about this, you’ll find that this is completely untrue.
If you look at women’s preferences in sex toys, you’ll find that that vast majority of all dildos sold are between 4-6 inches long (the size of an average male penis). This is because this is the size that’s PHYSICALLY ideal to give her pleasure, since most of the nerve endings in her vagina are in the first few inches.
HOWEVER – all things being equal, a woman WILL prefer a man who’s larger. But it’s not because he “hits spots” that a smaller guy doesn’t. It’s because a man with larger “equipment” seems more like the dominant alpha male she fantasizes about. In other words, women prefer larger “equipment” because they find it PSYCHOLOGICALLY exciting, not because it’s physically better to give them orgasms. This might still sound depressing if you’re on the smaller side, but it’s actually GREAT NEWS. Here’s why:
Women prefer “bigger” guys because a larger penis seems more psychologically DOMINANT. But your size is really a VERY small part of how dominant you are overall in bed – like 2-3% at most. It’s MUCH more important to her that you have the SEXUAL SKILLS to turn her on with masculine dominance in the bedroom. And if you have these sexual skills, you’ll seem like the dominant alpha male she fantasizes about even if you’re on the smaller side.
In other words, your SKILLS will greatly overshadow your SIZE in importance.
This is how I give women orgasms despite being barely five inches hard, and how many of my students who are on the “smaller” side do as well. And if you’re not exactly hung like an elephant yourself, it’s very important that you learn sexual skills to turn her on with masculine dominance. Otherwise, she might lose interest in you and start fantasizing about the “real man” who can truly rock her world.
MISTAKE #9: NOT KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT TO DO TO MAKE HER ORGASM
Here’s something about giving women orgasms most men don’t know: A woman’s arousal system is much different than yours, because female arousal is much more DELICATE. Here’s what I mean by this:
For men, it’s relatively easy for us to have an orgasm. For example, if a woman is going down on us and is a little clumsy, of course it’s not ideal, but we’ll still probably have an orgasm in the end. Little mistakes here and there don’t make a huge difference for our arousal. But for women, it’s much different.
If a guy gets clumsy or makes a blunder in ANY stage of her arousal, it’s very difficult for her to finish up. She can only have an orgasm if a man knows how to smoothly escalate the pleasure at exactly the right pace and rhythm. So if you want to be great in bed, it’s important that you learn EXACTLY how to please her in each of the three phases of female arousal:
– First, you need to learn how to TEASE her in the initial phase, in order to make her body crave physical stimulation.
– Next, you need an arsenal of techniques to give her VARIETY OF STIMULATION during the middle phase. Because if you keep doing the same thing over and over again in this phase, she’ll become numb to it and won’t be able to cum.
– And finally, when she’s about to have an orgasm you need to know how to SEAL THE DEAL. You have to know EXACTLY how to bring her over the edge, otherwise she won’t climax and she’ll be incredibly frustrated.
MISTAKE #10: NOT GETTING HELP
This is by far the most dangerous mistake of all. Because if you make this mistake, then it’s GUARANTEED that you’ll never improve your sex life. After all, if you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting the same results you’ve always gotten.
Now, I know that it can be very HARD for a guy to seek help in this area of his life, even if he’d really like to be having more and better sex. Because our sexual prowess is so critical to our self-esteem as men, your EGO can really get in the way of improving your sexual skills. Trust me, I get it. Because I’ve been there myself.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself, and how I figured out how to give women orgasms…
About seven years ago, I met a woman at my job who I thought was THE ONE for me. This girl was different than all the others – she was really special to me. She was stunningly beautiful, and she also had a warm, flirty personality that made her absolutely irresistible. I never thought I’d have a chance with her, but to my surprise one day she told me that SHE was attracted to ME, and she’d like to go out on a date. It was my golden opportunity.
So we went out on a few dates, and eventually she invited me back to her house. She took me to the bedroom, dimmed the lights, and started playing some soft music. I felt the anticipation building in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t believe I was actually about to have sex with this beautiful goddess. I had no doubt it would be one of the most pleasurable, memorable experiences of my entire life. So you can imagine my horror when our clothes came off … and I couldn’t get an erection!
I tried to get hard for the better part of an hour, while she waited in frustration. It was absolutely humiliating.
And when I finally did get hard, I came in under a minute. She didn’t say anything, but as soon as I ejaculated I could see a look of disappointment washing over her face. Afterwards, I tried to make excuses for my poor performance but it didn’t really matter. She hustled me out the door, saying “she had to wake up early the next day.” And although I tried calling and emailing her many times after that, she never contacted me again.
Once I realized I’d lost my dream girl because I was TERRIBLE in bed, I realized that I absolutely had to get this part of my life handled. I resolved that I was going to learn how to give women orgasms and become a great lover – no matter how long it took, and no matter what the cost. And after YEARS of trying lots of crazy things in the bedroom, I finally figured it all out.
I can now give ANY woman intense multiple orgasms when I have sex with her. And for a while, I even used my bedroom skills to have sexual relationships with THREE gorgeous women at the same time (they all knew about each other, and were OK with it). And eventually, I decided to settle down in a monogamous relationship with a woman who loves having sex with me and really makes me happy. Her sex drive is actually HIGHER than mine because I always give her multiple orgasms, and she’s always eager to please me.
But really, the best part for me actually isn’t the sex. It’s the fact that I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling in the pit of my stomach that came from not having what it takes to sexually satisfy women. And the fact that women are CONTENTED and HAPPY after they have sex with me – not disappointed and frustrated like they used to be. And now that I’ve figured it out for myself, I’ve really dedicated my life to teaching other guys how to do it too.
About Daniel Rose Daniel Rose is the author of the Sex God Method. He teaches men simple yet powerful ways to give women sexual pleasure through using her "Four Orgasm Triggers." Once you know what these are, and how to use each one, giving her an orgasm becomes as easy as flipping a switch or pressing a button.