Paul Janka Shares 3 Tips for Day Game Success
It’s Cold, Stay Motivated: Tips from the Streets (Literally), Part 1 of a 4-Part Series –This four-part series aims to inspire you to bundle up, brave the cold, and find a cute girl to keep you warm in these winter months. This four-part series details the intricate mechanics of a street approach.
If you’re a female living in New York City between the ages of 18 and 32, Paul Janka probably has your number. That’s because Paul’s been hustling the New York beat for years, approaching every gorgeous, hot, cute, and sometimes even marginally cute girl he passes.
As a result, he’s perfected his conversational craft to the point where getting a girl’s number rarely takes more than 60 seconds. A typical afternoon stroll for Paul culls dozens upon dozens of numbers, keeping him occupied with up to three dates in an evening. If that sounds like a playboy lifestyle that might interest you, Paul’s ready to share the wisdom gleaned straight from the streets of NYC.
Once you learn the incredible simplicity and ridiculous effectiveness of the “Janka day-game number grab,” you’ll have more trouble keeping up your energy than getting numbers. As such, Paul’s even got advice for the weary man: eat a Cliff Bar and Odwalla Soy Almondo drink.
But before you hit the corner bodega, let’s review Paul Janka’s 3 conversational secrets for success.
1.) Complicate the thread to keep the conversation going – “The problem with [opening with] compliments is that they leave you in a conversational cul-de-sac,” Paul explained. “You say to a girl, ‘You’re beautiful’ or something like that, and then you have to restart the conversation with another topic. By then it’s totally obvious you’re trying too hard.” To avoid these dead ends, Paul advocates “deflecting her response” to complicate the thread.
Essentially, that means you can’t let her “solve your problem.” So, for example, if you open a girl with a yoga mat by asking, “Excuse me, is that a yoga mat?” if you simply allow her to say, “Yes” the interaction is over. As Paul points out, girls are often initially thinking, “Can I leave now?” but stick around to be polite. That’s why it’s important to “complicate” or “deflect” her response.
In the yoga mat example, Paul followed up the opener with, “Where can we do yoga around here?” At this point, girls will often invest more in the interaction (as you see in Paul’s video, the girl comes to a full stop). From there, Paul continues to deflect her responses, complicating each answer she gives with another “problem.” “But I’m a grad student,” “I don’t know where that is,” I don’t know my schedule yet” are all deflections Paul throws into the interaction to keep it going. When in doubt, Paul advocates keeping a “Can we keep working on this?” mindset.
2.) Transition smoothly by having an “excuse” – “Think about it from a girl’s perspective,” Paul challenged me. “They need an excuse to stop, to give you their number.” In Paul’s experience, it’s always better to be discrete, rather than blatantly hit on girls in the daytime. As such, you need to transition why you stopped her with actually getting her phone number. The transition should be smooth and fast. Paul and I discussed at length is the importance of “getting in and getting out” when going for daytime numbers.
For a girl you meet on the street, it doesn’t matter if you talk to her for 60 seconds or 60 minutes, because when you walk away, you’re still just a stranger to her. Your chances of seeing her again don’t improve (at all) by spending more time with her – in fact, they actually get worse! The more time you spend with her as a “stranger,” the more time you have to say something stupid (and we’ve all done it!), thus blowing the deal.
To avoid that amateur mistake altogether, transition the conversation ASAP. You can be as straightforward as, “What year are you [after she says she’s a student]?” or even simply saying, “I’m Paul.” Paul stresses, “The context doesn’t matter!” All that matters is switching gears and moving the interaction toward a number grab.
3.) Keep your composure at all times – While this tip may be most obvious, it’s probably what most guys have to work on most. Showing even the slightest bit of nervousness or anxiety can poison an interaction that’s as short as a minute or so. Paul developed his rock-solid composure in a somewhat roundabout way.
Before moving to New York, Paul shot a pilot for a “reality-style” t.v. show that had him “fucking with people on the street,” as he described it. “I’d stop people and have them do handstands, try to take their baby carriages, just crazy stuff.” From there, Paul said, “talking to cute girls was a natural evolution.”
Although, you don’t have to be the next social terrorist to develop your composure. Simply take note of how Paul doesn’t flinch when he gets the girl’s name wrong in the video. There’s no need to apologize or make a big deal over minor faux pas – just keep moving! Once you realize that, you’re well on your way to keeping your composure. And, if you still want to challenge some pedestrians to a handstand contest, no one’s stopping you.
So there you have it: 3 simple tips that’ll help put numbers in your phone.
Paul Janka is really a game changer when it comes time to meeting women. Go watch his video.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.