How to Avoid the Biggest ‘Opening Women’ Mistakes, Part 2
In the previous article on the biggest mistake men make approaching women I talked about how displaying a timid attitude will instantly turn a woman off. I explained how the biggest signs of nervousness are displayed by your body language and facial expressions. And I gave you some tips for improving both of them.
Now, saying that, I want to say also that a mistake is coming in too strong.
This the guy who comes in right away and he is complimenting her, buying her drinks, and he is taking away the challenge. You don’t want to do that either, you don’t want to take away the challenge. If you do compliment her, make it about you.
An example is, if you walk over and you tell her she smells good, say, ‘You smell good, it totally reminds me of the beach. I had to talk to you.’ You want to give her a reason that you’re complimenting other than just trying to flatter her. Show her why you’re complimenting her in relation to you. Don’t compliment like this: ‘Oh, you have beautiful eyes, I had to come over and talk to you.’ It has got to be something like ‘You reminded me of something and you got me thinking and I had to come over and talk to you.’
Another mistake that you might be making is invading her personal space. Women hate close-talkers, they hate when you’re invading their personal space. Now, I said earlier, don’t be afraid to take up space, and don’t unconsciously hide. But you don’t want to take up her space; you don’t want to move in close to her. You don’t want to start invading her personal space until you have achieved rapport.
Once you have achieved a rapport, then you can start getting a little bit more on the same wavelength as her, and move in a little closer, and kind of talk in her ear. But if you come right away, especially in a loud nightclub and right away you are leaning in to talk in her ear, it’s going to just freak her out. (I mean, quite frankly, it freaks out guys, it freaks us out if somebody did that to us. Granted, if a beautifully hot chick started doing it to us, we probably would continue talking to her, but we would still be a little bit weirded out by it.)
Another mistake, and I’m assuming most of you guys are not making this one but I have got to throw it in there, is cheesy lines and buying girls drinks. Now, is buying girls drinks definitely going to kill your chances? No, it’s not. There are some guys that have bought girls drinks, and it works. But buying drinks is much more of a high status technique. And I don’t mean that it makes you look high status. I mean, if you generally 100% are high status, you can get away with buying drinks.
This means that if you’re the owner of the nightclub, you can buy patrons’ drinks and look cool doing it. Or even if you’re the DJ. If you have a lot of status it’s okay to buy drinks, but if you don’t have a lot of status, then you want to avoid buying drinks.
Finally, I hope none of you guys are using cheesy lines.
If you are, you can test out using a cheesy line, knowing that it’s cheesy. And some guys have the personality that can pull it off. They can go in and use like a really ridiculous pickup line, and give her a smile that lets her know that you know that it’s ridiculous and you’re just playing around. That is possible but I wouldn’t recommend it.
If you’re going to use lines to start a conversation with a woman, I would highly recommend using good pua openers, as they have been tested and proven to work. To make sure you don’t resort to using corny lines, or get stuck with nothing to say, I put together this collection of free opening lines for starting conversations with women.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.