Topical Cream, 4.30.10

The Kentucky Derby: I’ve gone on record about my love of sundresses. They look great on the girl next door, so imagine how they look on hot famous women? Well, no need to guess, really. Just check out the link and watch this year’s coverage of the Derby. If you can stand all those dumbass hats, that is. Excuse me while I muddle some mint for my julep.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: P.T. Barnum once said “You’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” This is a prime example of why that adage is generally true. The first movie was a new concept, and that’s what made it frightening and interesting. Now the classic slasher flick is being remade for a generation of kids who grew up with flame retardant halloween costumes of the knife-handed fella. I mean, a flame-retardant Freddy costume? Isn’t that the definition of ironic? And, get this – the director refused to make it 3D, which is pretty much the only way this remake would have been new and interesting.


Famous people always make such good-looking kids. Meet Spencer Grammer, daughter of Frazier… er, Kelsey Grammer. She was actually on Cheers (credited as “Little Girl” in a 1992 episode), and has been working steadily in television since 2005. If you need a live-action fix, she’s currently starring as Casey Cartwright in the ABC Family series “Greek”. She’s probably not showing much skin there, however.

#fakederbyhorses: One of the funnier twitter memes to come along in some time. Web-heads competed to come up with the funniest made-up name for a Kentucky Derby horse. Some favorites included Haulin’ Oats, C-Bizkit and of course Glue Factory.

When’s Lunchtime?: Even a broken watch is right twice a day. This one’s right every thirty seconds. Man, the seventies were awesome on so many levels.

What’s next? The Cellphone Photography badge?: When I was a Cub Scout, all we did was tie knots, recite that oath and straighten our neckerchiefs. Apparently modern youth aren’t wowed by such coming-of-age rituals. The scouts are now offering a pin to celebrate a lad’s knowledge of video game lore. Smart kids probably earn three merit badges at once by going camping and toting a Nintendo DS along on a homemade lanyard.

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About Eric Angevine "In his time on planet Earth, Eric Angevine has been a bookstore manager, a late-night radio DJ, a taco-filler, a middle-manager, and a professional writer. Which is a polite way of saying he doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up."

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