Topical Cream, 4.30.10

A Nightmare on Elm Street: P.T. Barnum once said “You’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” This is a prime example of why that adage is generally true. The first movie was a new concept, and that’s what made it frightening and interesting. Now the classic slasher flick is being remade for a generation of kids who grew up with flame retardant halloween costumes of the knife-handed fella. I mean, a flame-retardant Freddy costume? Isn’t that the definition of ironic? And, get this – the director refused to make it 3D, which is pretty much the only way this remake would have been new and interesting.

Cheers!:

Famous people always make such good-looking kids. Meet Spencer Grammer, daughter of Frazier… er, Kelsey Grammer. She was actually on Cheers (credited as “Little Girl” in a 1992 episode), and has been working steadily in television since 2005. If you need a live-action fix, she’s currently starring as Casey Cartwright in the ABC Family series “Greek”. She’s probably not showing much skin there, however.

#fakederbyhorses: One of the funnier twitter memes to come along in some time. Web-heads competed to come up with the funniest made-up name for a Kentucky Derby horse. Some favorites included Haulin’ Oats, C-Bizkit and of course Glue Factory.

When’s Lunchtime?: Even a broken watch is right twice a day. This one’s right every thirty seconds. Man, the seventies were awesome on so many levels.

What’s next? The Cellphone Photography badge?: When I was a Cub Scout, all we did was tie knots, recite that oath and straighten our neckerchiefs. Apparently modern youth aren’t wowed by such coming-of-age rituals. The scouts are now offering a pin to celebrate a lad’s knowledge of video game lore. Smart kids probably earn three merit badges at once by going camping and toting a Nintendo DS along on a homemade lanyard.