Internalizing Game and Developing the Instincts of a Natural
This is part of two of my recent interview with Christian Hudson. (Read part one here.) Christian has been the talk of the internet with his recent free video content he has been releasing. His most recent video tackles the subject of opening a conversation and quickly transitioning towards attraction.
Part 2: Developing “Game Instincts”, Internalizing Confidence, and Becoming “Unbreakable”
4. How does a guy make the transition from “practicing” to instinctively doing the right thing in field?
So much of it comes from belief in himself, and 100% focus on the woman. When you are really tuned into what a woman is feeling, and when you’re out of your head, you discover that the words just come to you. That’s not to say that you don’t have to learn them first 🙂
You can study guys like Russell Brand or my co-conspirator Nick Sparks who have that hilarious sexual humor down, or you can study Tom Cruise in Top Gun or Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks to see how they maintain eye contact and keep the sexiness simmering. We advise our clients to model those guys. And of course, you can buy a product with a bunch of techniques in it and go out and try them.
Truly though, instinct by definition means not thinking about it. So what needs to happen is that you remove any internal barriers between you and the woman, and let your unconscious desires guide you, while your conscious mind keeps you in check. It’s not an easy answer, but it comes with practice, with awareness, and most importantly, with a true love for being around the opposite sex 🙂
5. Is there anything that guys just don’t seem to get that you really want them to internalize?
Hmmm, broad question. I think this: It is important that you do what you are doing.
Now what do I mean by that? Well, there was a time when it was very important to me to work on picking up women. I didn’t know why, but I knew it was important to me. And now that I’ve done it a bunch of times, I know it’s not that important to me now except to help other men become better at it so that they can enjoy this part of their lives too. But if I hadn’t gone through it, I wouldn’t have “scratched that itch,” and I wouldn’t be here writing this.
Sometimes we spend years of our lives doing something, only to realize that it’s not right for us. One of my favorite philosophers once wrote that “it belongs to the imperfection of everything human that man can only attain his desire by passing through its opposite.” For me, that held very true. I know others who pass through their opposite, so to speak, and stay there because they rather like it. The point is that if you’re not happy right now with something, like your woman situation, then you have to keep doing different stuff until you find something that makes you happy.
And one of the few smart, original thoughts that has ever come out of my mouth relates to this: that “the three searches in life that matter the most – for purpose, for love and for God – are never resolved at our convenience.” The only way to resolve them is to keep doing what we’re doing, making connections, and finding the truth inside of ourselves as we meet and connect with theirs.
6. What sort of mindset sort of defines this concept of “Unbreakable”?
It’s a few things, because honestly, the notion of being Unbreakable is not about never getting hurt. Rather, it’s about knowing who you are, what you want, and what you stand for, and being a man of high value. And it means not sacrificing your values or your self discipline or your self worth. It means that your confidence comes from a genuine place and that when you’re tested, you hold strong.
And as it relates to “game,” it means that you know that you’re a catch in every way – in your heart, in your life, and in the way you make others feel – and that you communicate that naturally.
But lest the marketing get ahead of us here, I want to share a quote from one of my favorite books, The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis. It reads:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
I really believe that. That at a certain point, you’re going to meet someone to whom you want to give yourself completely, and yes, you do risk getting hurt. Many men who look for dating advice are doing so out of a defensive position – because they lost a girl or are lonely or what have you – and they want to be ‘unbreakable’ by a woman so that they’re never hurt again. But it’s not about closing in and retrenching. Paradoxically, the closest thing that a man can be to being truly unbreakable is to have a strength, confidence and love inside of himself that is so strong that everyone feels it.
Watch the free video: “Instant Attraction” The Exact Blueprint to Open a Conversation and Have Her Chasing You in Three Minutes.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.