How to Increase Your Attractiveness to a Female Friend
Guys are constantly wondering, what is ‘the secret’ to turning a platonic friend to be your girlfriend? Look around and you can see it happening all the time: well-meaning, good and caring guys with the best intentions in the world for a girl he likes, but somehow ends up being placed in the ‘friend zone’ no matter how hard he tries.
If you want to turn a friend to be your girlfriend, a big part of doing it right, getting them to successfully ‘turn’ over is to first know what they really need.
Notice, I didn’t say what women WANT.
Because what they SAY they want, and what they actually NEED, are two different things. (This is an important concept to remember if you want to know how to turn a friend into something more.) We’ve been led to believe that women want a nice, safe, sensitive “metrosexual” guy. A guy who is in touch with his feminine side, and is a friend first and a lover second. And of course, the media tell us that an “attractive” guy is also supposed to make a lot money, stay in great shape, spoil his girlfriend with attention, and be completely available to her every time she needs to complain about something.
Well, here’s the big secret: what women NEED, on a core, biological level, is a whole different set of qualities. Women are programmed to DESPISE weak men. The most important female need is to feel SAFE, and a weak man is never going to be able to make her feel this way.
When you constantly defer to a woman and let HER run the relationship, you might think you’re being a “good boyfriend.” But you’re actually screwing up the relationship and TURNING HER OFF. To turn a friend to be your girlfriend, you have to first stop playing “wuss” in your interactions with her. (You know what a “wuss” is, right? It’s a combination of the words “wimp” and another word that starts with P and ends with Y.) This is situation MANY guys get into. We call it the “vicious cycle.”
A guy starts dating a girl, and she begins to make demands. The demands are small at first: always answer when she calls your cell phone. Spend time with her instead of watching the football game. Be available to talk to her and see her whenever she wants, even if you’re busy with work or other friends. Over time, the demands sometimes get bigger: get a better job, don’t hang out with your single buddies because they’re a bad influence, etc.
Eventually, they get married… and that’s when the demands become major. She wants a bigger house, a nicer car, a child or two (even though you don’t feel ready.) Most guys accept these demands as part of the relationship, and they go along with her demands to avoid having arguments. (This is one of the reasons why they get placed into the friend zone.) You would THINK that she would appreciate this. After all, you are always making the effort to please her!
But it actually has the opposite effect. She becomes annoyed by the fact that he won’t show a backbone. So she keeps making more and more demands, nagging the guy, henpecking him and controlling every area of his life. Subconsciously, she’s trying to FORCE him to show his Alpha side.
But most guys never do. They just get beaten down and “whipped.”
You see, women, in their hearts, don’t want a guy who always defers to her and agrees with her. This type of guy radiates WEAKNESS, and a woman is never going to feel safe and secure in a relationship with a weak guy. She has a core need to be with an Alpha Man.
She might SAY she wants a “nice guy”… the sweet, caring type who brings her flowers, provides a shoulder to cry on, and jumps through any hoop she puts in front of him. But she has an inner NEED to be with a Alpha Man. A guy who LEADS and MAKES DECISIONS.
When she goes through one of her emotional hissy fits, she needs an Alpha Man who will be FIRM and calm her down.
You can be the sweetest, kindest guy in the world, faithfully bringing home a paycheck, but if you’re a wuss, your woman is actually going to RESENT you for it. Women are wired to want to be with Alpha Men. They need the sense of stability, security and strength that an Alpha Man provides. And we’re not talking about physical strength, showing EMOTIONAL strength is far more important, and hugely attractive to women.
She wants a MAN who makes her feel comfortable being the WOMAN. (If you want to get out of the friend zone, remember this.) You CAN be a nice, laidback, respectful dude … and you should be. But you’ve got to have a strong, decisive Alpha core that makes women feel safe and protected.
You can be rich, and have movie-star looks, and all those other qualities that are supposed to be “attractive.” But take my word for it: until you make your personal Alpha transformation, you’re going to find yourself in an unfulfilling relationships with women who will eventually LEAVE you (or drive your crazy with their demands!)
Stop worrying about what women want. Learn what they NEED, and BECOME THAT GUY.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2015/02/11/how-to-sleep-with-your-friends/
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About Simon Heong Simon Heong is widely regarded as one of the most respected Asian Dating Consultant & Publisher. His specialty is turning a friend into a lover. To get instant FREE access to his no BS, cutting edge strategies & techniques for success with women, just go over and sign up for his free newsletters at http://www.friendtogirlfriend.com.