Flawless Facebook Game in 3½ Tips
You’d think Mark Zuckerberg invented sex considering how many times a day I get asked for tips on how to use Facebook. And, like any aspect of learning “game,” Facebook is simply an extension of your personality—just like everything else you do around women. To think there’s some magical Facebook formula to suddenly make girls fall in love with you over a computer is more absurd than Zuckerberg’s Velcro hear.
Although, like a good dating columnist should, I can share ways to “work the angles” so that you use Facebook to complement your assets and ensure you’re always putting your best self (profile?) forward for the ladies. After all, Facebook is like the dating equivalent of marketing, so if you already have a good product, you can make it look sensational with a carefully crafted Facebook page. So here are my 3½ Facebook tips for dating (and casual dating) success:
Turn your wall posts off—yes, I know you thought it was cool when that hotty from Saturday night wrote on your wall, “Did I leave my earrings at your place?” but, aside from your salivating buddies who “liked” that comment, no self-respecting female was turned on by it. Sadly, most comments guys think are demonstrating their “pre-selection” are usually just demonstrating their “utter-sleaziness.”
That’s not to say having a Don Juan reputation is a bad thing—however, they key is in subtly and ambiguity. It’s way better if a woman thinks you may be a player, rather than when she outright knows you are one. Why? Well, for starters, it keeps her wondering, which keeps her thinking about you. It also allows her to preserve her notion of “romance” while also knowing that you’re “in demand.”
Therefore, keep your wall posts turned off so that women are left guessing what other women are saying about you. A girl reading your wall posts is analogous to her asking you, “How many women have you slept with?” Every guy who’s ever been asked that question knows there’s no good answer. If you answer too high, she’ll think you’re a manwhore; if you answer too low, you’re an inexperienced nerd. Obviously the best response is no response—and, by turning off your wall posts, you’re effectively giving a “no response” to whether or not you’re the Casanova she thinks you might be.
Personality by proxy—I have to credit my main man Chris (a.k.a., Junior Spesh) for perfecting this nice little piece of value. In today’s digital age, we have the luxury of demonstrating our personality through Facebook newsfeeds, Twitter updates, YouTube videos, pictures, and blog posts. Unlike the dark ages before social media, a girl no longer needs to see you in the flesh to get a sense of your awesomeness. She can get a glimpse of your wit, charm, and sex appeal just by checking out your newsfeed while surfing the net on her laptop.
It is important, however, that you use the newsfeed wisely. Don’t “SPAM” your personality. Ideally, you should aim to mix a healthy dose of witty comments and observations, pictures, and external links.
Examples of witty comments may include the following (credit: the Twitter page of @therobjudge)
Sometimes I wish Twitter rules applied in real life, limiting people to 120 characters before having to shut the fuck up!
Has anyone else noticed that Captain Hook is a HUGE pedophile? Guy lives in Never-Never Land amongst little boys, luring them to his ‘boat’
Gym grunter back at it again. Guy sounds like he’s having intense intercourse with a porcupine. Yes it’s really that bad.
Examples of pictures are obvious: anything you’re doing that is awesome. For example, don’t take “boring” pics of you with a shit-eating grin, obviously posting for a picture; instead, snap a picture with your iPhone as you’re chugging a pitcher of beer, taking a piss on the side of the road during an awesome roadtrip, or doing something else that shows ACTION. Always ask yourself: what does this picture say about ME? If it just says you’re a smiling douche bag, don’t post it.
Finally, examples of external links should be some awesome thing you did in written, picture, or video form. Since I’m a writer, I tend to put up awesome stories about my awesome life, such as:
Going old school, remembering the time I got cock-blocked by my own dad: http://tiny.cc/CBdbyDAD
Latest on TSB: I create a SIM character of myself then watch him molest & creep out SIMbabes, prepare for hilarity! http://tiny.cc/SIM_Rob
Ideally, you should shoot for an update at 9:30am, 2pm, and 6pm. If you’re having an exceptional day, post more but be careful not to overdo it. You don’t want to seem like the guy who’s tweeting too hard or lives on Facebook (that guy SUCKS).
Oversell whatever you do—If you want to get a girl to hang out with you, warm her up to the idea by overselling the event well in advance of inviting her. For instance, say you want to invite a girl out for drinks on Thursday night—she should be reading posts like, “Off to painting the town awesome at O’Flannagan’s pub. Chugging pitchers of ambrosia and singing 80s songs—heavenly!” the Thursday prior (at around 6pm of course).
If you also post pictures of you and your coed group of friends having a blast, it sweetens the pot even more. You have to ask yourself: are you the creep trying to weasel your way into her party, or are you the man who’s going to suck her into your party? The grass is always greener on the other side, so everyone thinks everyone else’s party is more awesome than their own. Be the kickass minority who not just believes—but truly knows—his party puts everyone’s party to shame! (Then, go ahead and post about it on Facebook.)
½.) Develop an idiosyncratic Facebook style*—This one might take time to develop, but it pays dividends in the long term. If you can find some “quirky” way to express yourself through Facebook, you can demonstrate a lot of personality with limited user features. For me, that means absolutely abusing the “Like it” button. Unlike normal people, I habitually and systematically “like” everything on someone’s wall—including my own.
Think about it from a girl’s perspective: how funny would it be if you logged on Facebook and had “Rob Judge likes 15 of your comments.” Either you’ll come across as a total freak or the most awesome guy ever. However, if you’ve kept my other tips in mind, it will often be the latter.
Therefore, find some stupid “Facebookism” that appeals to your sense of humor, and milk it for all it’s worth. It might be a lascivious poke, hilarious event invites, or just a recurring comment you always post in the “comments.” Regardless, make it awesome and idiosyncratic and you’ll be well on your way to better Facebook game.
*Notice this is only ½ a tip because it’s important NOT to overdo this one—even if it’s your “thing.” Anything overdone is tryhard and loses its appeal. Do it enough to make funny, but don’t get predictable or obnoxious!
Of course, you can find me on Facebook here.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.