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Paying Attention To Your Girl

It’s Important To Know When To Give Her Praise

I got a text message from a friend a week ago. It went like this.

“Yo… if your gf was in a bikini with a bunch of your guy friends, and this is the first time she’s ever been basically naked in front of all your friends, would you think it would be important to compliment her and make sure she feels confident like you’re proud to show her off? Or is that an overly complicated female perspective that no guy would ever think of?”

I immediately knew what was going on. She wasn’t fooling me. There was no hypothetical situation. Nope, she was talking about the real thing here.

She was actually at the beach hanging out with her boyfriend and his guy friends. She just recently started hanging out with her boyfriend’s group of friends, and did not feel completely comfortable around them. To make matters worse, she was in a very revealing bikini. Even though she is by any standard very fit and in-shape, she felt a little on edge because of the unfamiliar situation.

Sometimes it's all in your words

Sometimes it's all in your words

All that she needed to ease her mind was a few sweet nothings from her boyfriend and everything would be alright. But that wasn’t in the cards. Those simple words escaped her boyfriend and she opted to text me.

After taking a few minutes to mull over her question. I typed out: “No guy would ever think of that. But I’m glad I know that for future reference.”

It’s strange to me that something like that is so simple to do, and yet the average male mind would never think to do it. I mean if I knew that she was getting all self-conscious about her appearance, I would definitely reassure her. It takes five seconds to do. I would definitely be focused on whether or not my girlfriend was enjoying herself. This focus wouldn’t be in relation to how she looks, however.

Instead, I would be worried if she was getting bored or not having fun because she was with relatively new acquaintances. I would really want her to like my friends so that way I could hang out with them and her at the same time. For all I know what’s taking place is a disaster. She might be putting on a good face, but inside is bored to death as my friends and I reminisce about high school and the time we egged Mr. Edwards’s house on goosey night.

Then again, as I just recently learned, that might not be enough. In certain situations, there is another element at play.

If you’re at the beach or out at night and your girlfriend is wearing a skimpy dress, she might not even have the chance to enjoy yourself because she’s worried about her looks. It probably doesn’t cross the minds of men to say anything because we don’t concern ourselves too much if we are being complimented on our looks. Yeah we would be stoked if our girlfriends told us that they noticed we slimmed down a little, but we’ll do just fine if she doesn’t.

Either way, I’m happy to know that for future reference, there are a few more things at play in a woman’s mind. Just being keen on whether or not she’s a little more self-conscious in certain situations will go a long way to her having a better time around my friends.

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About Mustafa Shaikh Mustafa Shaikh is an aspiring writer living in Berkeley, CA. Not willing to give up his college days just yet, he lives only a few blocks away from his beloved campus. He hopes to write a best-seller within the next couple of years and live off the royalties of it for as long as possible.

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