How To Be a Victim in 6 Easy Steps
The benefits of being a victim are clear, right? You never need to take on any responsibility, nor do the work to make changes, nor worry about repercussions if the work fails. Those are the advantages. On the flip side, the problem is you will never succeed while assuming the victim role.
1. Don’t pay attention to
Most people start off here. They pretend there isn’t a problem, or if they admit to a problem, then they don’t see how it affects them. This is often observed among dudes who aren’t involved in the pick-up community. You know, that coworker who insists it’s all cheesy, manipulative bullshit, and yet from your perspective he’s not doing too well in his own dating life. He fails to see the need to work on his inner game, because it’s unnecessary to dating.
Guys who take the leap and come into the community usually have accepted that they do in fact have problems with their psychology, and do see that it can affect their success with girls. What distinguishes this guy from the last tends to be the size of his ego; an overwhelming ego will blind a person from clearly viewing his weaknesses. The ego is there to keep you comfy, but is averse to risk and pain. When it comes to self-improvement, view the ego only as an obstacle.
Never have ignorance and denial contributed to long-term success. Set aside your ego and seek the truth behind your source of discontentment and stagnation.
2. Don’t Take Responsibility
One way to avoid taking on extra responsibility is to point the finger at someone else whose job it is.
When it comes to dating, guys often hope to deflect some of the duties of seduction and romance to the girl. But it is the man who must put himself out there, risking his pride. He alone is expected to get the number, set up the date and escalate to sex. None of this is the girl’s “job.”
At the end of the day, when the interaction never blossoms, he may be tempted to lay blame with the chick for not putting in her share of the work: “she didn’t text back,” “she couldn’t make her mind up,” “she didn’t seem interested in me.” But in fact it’s your fault for not being persistent, it’s your job to plan the date and work logistics, it’s your responsibility to get her attracted. Make the assumption, here and now, everything is your job.
3. Blame Others
When interactions don’t go well, guys often try to put the blame on someone or something else. Girls. Wings. The venue. Their “state.” The list goes on and on. We’ve all been guilty of it. Ultimately, when you instead take full responsibility for the outcome, the results are two part:
First, you have to bear the weight of bad outcomes. This can make you feel like crap. But second, you find yourself with a new-found power; you are no longer at the mercy of others, but the master of your own destiny. This sense of empowerment that comes with taking full responsibility is liberating, and far outweighs the burden of shouldering the blame, or the sense of defeat you feel from being the powerless victim.
Stop pointing your finger, and instead put it somewhere women would appreciate it.
About Dr. Evan Marlowe Evan Marlow is the dean and founder of Man School. You can visit at Manschool.cc