Learn By the Seat of Your Pants
What is the most effective way to learn how to approach and attract women? We’re not talking about what line to use, or what fancy technique. Magic pills seem to be a dime a dozen in this area. We’re talking about your actual learning technique.
So what the hell does that mean? It’s like Inception. We have to go deeper…
It’s tempting sometimes to trawl the net, absorbing all these different techniques. Doing this, it can be easy to get stuck into a rut. You sit there consuming one piece of information after another. You keep learning what women like in a guy. What they wanted to hear. How you should act.
You try to learn everything you will need in order to have a successful interaction with a girl. So you learn how to open a group, you learn what you should say after the opener, you learn what to say after that, etc. In fact, you learn everything you think you might need to know in order to be successful with women. And on the face of it this is great. Knowledge is power, after all.
So why don’t we feel empowered when we do this?
Here’s the problem: Instead of going out into the real world and *using* this stuff, you get stuck in the proverbial rut. Paralysis by analysis, as they say. You’re stuck learning more stuff, instead of getting out there and actually taking some action. Any progress is, essentially, all in your head.
Now I’m not having a go at anyone for doing this. I understand. I’ve been there too. You get so concerned with what you might be missing out on, suddenly all your time is spent online ‘researching’, when really the best research is the ‘hands-on’ kind.
I used to want to feel confident that I knew it all, had every contingency planned for, before I even set foot out of my house. This might sound familiar to you. And it’s a sure-fire way to not ever taking any real action.
But fear not, there is a solution…
Techniques can be great (especially when you are just starting out interacting with women on a serious level). That said though, what I always suggest is the concept of: ‘learn a bit, do a bit’. Learn one or two new things to try. Then go out as soon as possible (right then and there if you can, but certainly that evening or the next day or so) and put what you have learned into action.
So instead of learning how to approach; how to spark attraction; how to develop a deep level of trust; deal with tests; be dominant; be sexually aggressive; and so on… *and then* trying to put it all in to action, all at once…
Instead, learn how to approach then go out and do some approaches. You’ll learn a huge amount just about this one tiny area just from focusing on this for a few days, evenings or ‘sessions in the field’, whatever you want to call them.
Learn a bit, do a bit.
I mean let’s be honest, there’s no point learning how to drive a car at 100mph round a race track if you can’t even pull away smoothly.
I know what you’re thinking…
The problem with this advice is it can be proper scary. I know because I have been there. You approach a girl, smash out the opener, it’s going great … then the pause, a hesitation. The dreaded thought, “What do I say now?” Hey, it’s going to happen. It’s an experience you have to ‘achieve your way through’ for want of a better term.
What I’m trying to say is that no amount of reading articles, e-books, or watching course videos can substitute for the pressure of talking to a smoking hot girl in a public place. For that, there is no substitute for the real thing (until they invent Demolition Man-style immersive virtual reality that is).
And don’t get me wrong. I know this way of learning can be frustrating. You are talking to a hot girl, everything is going well and then, boom, it’s all up in smoke because you don’t really know what to do next, or how to take things forward. But this short-term pain is tiny compared to the pain of a lifetime of loneliness without the ability to meet and attract the women you know you deserve.
Nobody can ever know everything. No matter how much information you consume, you will never know everything you need to know about interacting with women. There are times when even us ‘pros’ get shocked by a situation or how a girl is behaving. So we fly by the seat of our pants and treat the scenario as a learning experience. This is when we get excited because we know we are about to expand and grow, in both skill and character.
Eventually you will learn to love the uncertain feeling too. So instead of trying to be certain you have everything covered beforehand, just take things one at a time. Learn a bit, do a bit.
So here’s my challenge to you: Learn *one* thing today on an aspect of meeting women you know you are struggling with. Then go out today, or in the next few days, and put what you have learned into *action*. You do that, and no matter what the outcome, you will have grown as a man. And this, my son, is how heroes are made…
One challenge at a time.
About David Black I'm David Black from Social Masters & I'm not your average dating coach. I don't mind sharing the truth, no matter how ugly. If you enjoy this, you can check out more of my stuff at my blog: how to get a girl