5 Everyday Choices That Decide Your Fate with Women
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned about pickup is a quote fit for a fortune cookie, “The approach begins long before the opener—it starts when you step out of bed in the morning.” As important as that pearl of wisdom may be, interpreting it is certainly not obvious. Like an offensively abstract fortune cookie, that little quote comes off more condescending than helpful.
And that’s my cue. It’s my job as a dating columnist to decode that brilliantly abstruse advice, breaking it down piece-by-piece. If we examine the timeline—from stepping out of bed to stepping up to a girl—we can find the exact moments where our choices dictate whether we get the girl or not.
How you live your life—starting this very moment—will decide how future women respond to you. So let’s examine 5 mundane moments where your choice decides everything.
A universally attractive trait in men is ambition. We all have our dreams—and then we have our actual lives. Whether your dream is to become a best-selling author, world-famous musician, or just the absolute best at whatever you do, your dream is your ambition.
If want to maximize that ambition, there’s a specific hour to do it: before you do anything else. If you start waking up an hour early and devoting it solely to your ambition—without distraction or compromise—then you’re starting your day like a champ.
I know how painful dragging yourself out of bed can be, but that’s exactly why so many people live out mediocre lives, doing mediocre things. If you want the lifestyle of your dreams, devote your best hour to it. Your first waking hour is where you’re most refreshed, most creative, and most focused on the task at hand.
Choose to wake up early to actualize your dreams, but also know the ambition you radiate is an aphrodisiac to women.
White carbohydrates are like crack. They’re deliciously addictive. My taste buds and I understand why you love them. However, they’re destroying your body and robbing you of vital energy. When it’s time for a meal, you can either live for the moment with something scrumptiously unhealthy or you can think about your health and eat something less fun.
Eating healthy has immediate rewards, as well. When it comes to women, eating healthy will give you more energy, more alertness, and more vigor. The long-term benefits of healthy eating are an attractive physique, a healthy glow, and general well being.
The choice is yours every time you open your mouth. But, whenever you devour that sugared donut, you’re decreasing you chances with women—significantly.
The ubiquity of digital music players allows people to carry their music collection anywhere they go. Most people listen to the same music, over and over, like pop culture-fed zombies. Very few people exploit MP3 players for their greatest asset: the ability to store entire lecture courses on any subject.
In my own personal experience, I learned more from “The Teaching Company” and their lectures on Literature and Writing than I did in my English graduate program. The lectures, podcasts, and courses available all over the internet give you the freedom to upload an entire Ph.D.-level education onto a device that fits in your pocket.
Rather than listening to guilty-pleasure pop music, why not stimulate your brain with lectures? It doesn’t matter what subject you choose—in fact, you should try listening to lectures on things you know absolutely nothing about.
Not only will you become smarter and more cultured, you’ll also develop your ability to talk with and relate to women.
When you have an hour or so free, how are you going to spend it? Many guys neglect their bodies and health in favor of immediate gratification. The all-too-common vice of videogame playing destroys the love lives of more men than you probably realize.
By channeling their competitive drive into a pixilated screen, men siphon off vital energy they could be using to get themselves in shape. Just like eating healthy, working out will provide an immediate benefit to your approaching. By working out you inject yourself with vibrancy and presence.
Don’t compromise your well being for some vicarious adventure played out on a computer console. Work your body. And in case you’re wondering: no, the Wii fit doesn’t count as a workout.
Finally, when you have a moment or two to kick back and enjoy yourself, will you stimulate your brain…or will you have it stimulated for you? Choosing to read over television is such a winning decision, yet most guys regard reading as “boring” or “tedious.” While reading may not be as simple as lying around like a blob and letting a television coddle you like an HD surround-sound tit, it has the capacity to make you a better person.
Whether you read fiction or nonfiction doesn’t matter, just get your nose in a book rather than watch television. Your brain will expand and you’ll find yourself funnier, wittier, and better-spoken than you can possibly imagine. But you have to get into the habit of reading!
Trust me, turn off the T.V. and devote a solid hour to reading each day…in 2 weeks you won’t recognize the thoughts in your head. Your imagination and creativity will blow your mind—literally. (I don’t think I need to explain how this will help you attract women.)
At least once a week, I have a guy ask me how to approach “the 10s.” Ironically, most of the guys who ask that live their lives as they’re a 3, yet think they can magically transform themselves into a “10” with some magical Rob advice. I’m not a fairy godmother—I’m a realistic dating columnist.
If you want to transform yourself into a “10,” then transform your life. Each day you’re presented dozens of everyday choices that seem mundane and non-related to meeting women; yet what you decide determines the entire outcome of your future approaches and interactions.
Respect the wisdom in that fortune-cookie quote: The approach begins when you step out of bed in the morning. We’ve covered 5 choices that will dictate the fate of that approach.
Now it’s up to you: what’s your choice?
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.