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The Bane of Shitty Night Clubs

Time For A Much-Deserved Rant

OK, timeout. I want to rant for a minute about how shitty some nightclubs are getting. I’m seeing a lot of these “high end” night clubs sprouting up in major cities, and they’re just glorified money pits, feeding off the insecurities and fears of our susceptible youth.

These clubs have found a way to monazite people’s insecurity around one another. Every detail of the club is meticulously DESIGNED to make you not feel cool enough.

And the only way to feel cool? If you’re a guy, spend a shit ton of money. If you’re a girl, hook up with a guy spending a shit ton of money.

Let me set a typical scene for you…

– You have two lines outside…  despite the club not being full, both lines run down the block. One is long and for people who are on a promoter’s list or “know someone,” and then another REALLY long for all the layperson who are basically just fucked. Just the fact that there’s a line a block long that gets to watch random people cut them all night gets the insecurity started.

– Then you get inside, if you happen to know a promoter, you only pay $20 instead of $50. You get in, and you’re now pushed into two rooms that may as well be sardine cans because you literally cannot move. Why? Because 75% of the floor space is taken up by the VIP tables in the middle of the room. And not only that, but the VIP tables have go-go dancers and sparklers every time they buy a bottle, so it’s impossible for everyone to NOT notice that they have a bottle and a table.

So you end up with hundreds of people, who can’t move, can’t dance, who everywhere they look they’re forced to look at people who CAN move around and are drinking happily with fireworks and go-go dancers. You can’t talk because the music’s so loud. So what do they do? The majority of them just stand there. Why? Because they all just paid $50 and waited for two hours so they don’t want to leave. Hundreds of people just stand there and watch nothing in particular all night.

The Shitty VIP Section

And then you get INTO the VIP section and you’d think it would change right? No, not really. I have VIP hook ups in Vegas and NYC, and in the VIP section what did I see? A bunch of guys sitting around doing nothing, looking bored. Why? Because they had dropped the $500 or $1,000 or whatever to get a table, all 6-8 of them split it, but now they’re sitting there in the VIP section and every other table is full of 6-8 dudes who split a table. There aren’t any girls anywhere, and the few that there are, most of these guys won’t ever approach. It’s too loud to talk to their friends, so they just sit there and get wasted.

But what about the girls? It’s a mixed bag. You can pick some up pretty quickly, but it’s almost all non-verbal game and a lot of rejection. The caliber of women is often deceiving as the 10 hottest girls there are paid by the promoters to show up and stand around in the VIP section talking to nobody. And most of the other girls are either trashy or nothing special, or even worse… trashy AND nothing special.

The bottom line is, these places attract people with some sort of obsession with “being seen” or “being cool.” And as a result, you get a lot of shallow, vain people — who are sometimes hot, sometimes not — who are willing to go through this same charade, week after week, in some desperate attempt to feel “almost famous” for a fleeting moment.

But wait, the third-string point guard for the Sacramento Kings is going, now we HAVE TO GO because there’s a celebrity there. What? Snooki’s in the house? Oh hell yeah! Let’s buy $15 shots so we can convince ourselves we had fun.

I can’t help but feel that it’s pathetic. And the fact that these clubs have become so good at preying on people’s insecurity and poor self-image’s usually disgusts me. On top of that, you can find girls of just as high quality at cooler places, you just have to look harder.

I love good nightclubs, but I’ve had enough of these places. Luckily, you really only run into them in NYC, Miami, Hollywood, and Vegas. London may be the worst of all. Other large cities like Chicago and Boston have them to lesser extents. But unfortunately, they seem to be on the rise because they’re massively profitable.

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About Mark Manson Mark Manson is a writer and dating coach from Boston. He spends most of his time abroad visiting exotic places and fornicating with exotic women. He's also the creator of the acclaimed Mark Manson website.

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