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Dating Hotter Girls: The Rules

To ask a man if he’d like to date hotter girls is like asking him if he wants to have more money, grow a bigger penis, or never again get a hangover. What self-respecting dude wouldn’t?! Most men, however, don’t realize that there’s a system to dating hotter girls.

You can’t just keep doing what you’ve always done and expect different results. If you’re not already dating hotter girls, something needs to change. Unfortunately, I can’t pinpoint exactly what’s holding you back from dating more attractive women without meeting and observing you.

I can, however, outline the most common mistakes that most guys make when they interact with gorgeous women. As much as I’d like to say “a girl’s always a girl,” everyone knows that hot girls can sometimes throw us off our path. So keep these “rules” in mind the next time you’re in the presence a stunner.

Rule 1: Do not take her—or the interaction—seriously until you sleep with her

Not as hard as you'd think

That rule may sound harsh, but it’s what hot women are looking for. Very often guys assign all sorts meaning and significance to meaningless and insignificant things. We can all remember a time when a super hot girl gave us her number and we couldn’t stop thinking about her.

And that’s just one example of the multitude of things most guys take way too seriously when dealing with hot women. I consistently get dates with hot women using this rule alone. Once I have a girl’s number, I will “play the number” until I get her out. Often though, before I get her out, I’ll hit some “bumps” in the road: she’ll flake several times, ignore me, or say things to deter me.

If I took the interaction seriously at all these little “bumps” would destroy me. But I don’t—in fact, it’s all just fun and meaningless to me. She likes me? Cool. She’s ignoring me? Cool. She flaked? Cool. She meets me for a date? Cool.

To attract very hot women, you have to be even keel the whole time. This applies to both the good moments and the bad moments. All-too-often guys invest all sorts of emotions into a girl they don’t even know. It may be hard to keep your cool, but always remind yourself that if you haven’t slept with her, it’s all just fun and meaningless. Don’t take her, the interaction, or—most importantly—yourself too serious.

Rule 2: Connect with her on a deep level

While you shouldn’t be taking her seriously, you should be connecting with her in a very deep way. Very attractive women are accustomed to guys acting like cartoon characters around them. Guys are constantly nervous, walking on eggshells, and trying too hard to make her happy.

Very rarely does a hot girl meet a guy who “gets her.” Like any human, hot women have aspirations, hopes, dreams, hobbies, goals, and interests. To really make a lasting impression on her, it’s your job to quickly figure out what those things are, and to steer the conversation toward those topics.

Discussing superficial topics with beautiful women is not a good game plan! I’ve found the more beautiful the woman, the deeper the conversation should be. Recently I brought a Russian model to an event as my date. This girl is absolutely stunning—literally she ignores phone calls from musicians and celebrities. That evening, we had one of the deepest and most personal conversations I’ve ever had with a girl whose last name I don’t even know.

To really “hone” this skill, you can’t fake it. You actually need to enjoy and understand your passions and interests. Watching the occasional sports game and playing poker aren’t really topics that lend themselves to deep conversation. If you want to date hotter girls, you should make yourself a more awesome guy. And then use that awesomeness to create deep connections.

Rule 3: Poke fun at yourself—but don’t be self-deprecating

All these rules build on one another. And so, to show a woman you don’t take the interaction very seriously, while simultaneously not interrupting the “flow” or “vibe” of the interaction, get comfortable with poking fun at yourself.

Guys who try to come across as “perfect” bombard hot women all the time. Whether it’s outright bragging or subtle “hints,” guys are always trying to convince hotties that they’re cool, rich, successful, or powerful. Unfortunately, you can’t convince a woman of anything—she has to come to that conclusion herself. There’s nothing a guy can say to influence that conclusion.

Moreover, most guys are so afraid of poking fun at themselves that they wreck the vibe. For example, I was on a date the other night with a complete hotty, and I dropped my fork. When I bent over to pick it up, I almost knocked over the dinner table, knocking over the bottle of wine and spilling it everywhere. For most guys, a clumsy move like that would sink them. But I just laughed and said, “Wow, most awkward date moment ever. How am I ever going to recover from that?”

Rather than let my blooper ruin the date, it actually made it better. The girl started laughing and said, “Yeah, that was pretty bad!” And we bonded over “bad date moments,” which turned into talking about our philosophy on dating and relationships (an example of making deep connections, rule 2).

While I’m 100-percent in favor of being “egoless” and laughing at yourself, you shouldn’t constantly put yourself down or become a clown. You want your joking to add to the vibe, not override it. So don’t go overboard. Make the occasional barb at yourself when the opportunity presents itself, but don’t become a one-trick pony.

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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