The Benefits Of a Quieter Bar
So, there’s a lot of advice going around these days how to meet women in a club. But what do you do in a quieter bar, where people aren’t drinking too much and the music is low volume and of the chirpy summer straw hat wearing variety?
The thing is, most of the time this is my hunting ground. I spend most of my time in quieter bars. A lot of the stuff I write about is crazy shit, but this is just a snapshot of when I go out and literally don’t care what happens and fun adventures occur. However on a day to day basis I do a lot of my work in quiet bars, and social settings without even drinking and with either no music or low-volume James Blunt type shit.
I find it strange that some guys find it easier to learn to pull in clubs. Bar game is where it’s at in my opinion. Let’s face it, in a club you can pull without much effort as long as you keep trying, eventually some hippocrocapig will be drunk enough or shtoooopid enough to go home with you.
In a bar you need to operate at a higher level, things are harder because people aren’t necessarily there to get fucked. It’s usually work mates having a few casual drinks after work, or girls having a catch up over a cheeky cocktail. You don’t need to go into these situations like a grenade going off. In fact, it straight up wouldn’t work 90% of the time.
It is more a case of doing the basic things well, concentrate on things like having interesting things to talk about (things that you are passionate about and excited to talk about), learning to actually flirt (make innuendos, give her some fucking eye sex, tease her a lot) and make sure you touch her in sexual but not creepy ways (after she makes you laugh give her thigh a squeeze for example, just don’t leave your hand there for no reason, it’s just weird).
The thing about these types of situations is that subtle flirting is key. By subtle I don’t mean non-existent (ignoring her and expecting her to magically find out how amazing you are). What I mean is don’t fucking rape her mouth on a table. You can talk about sex (subtly), you can turn her on, tease her, be blatant you are into her, but you have to build up to this, so only do it after her and whoever she is with have established that you’re cool and not a fucking weirdo.
Start off simple, high five, thumb wrestle, include everybody in your jokes, then as the group accepts you (winning over her group is essential), move to be near the girl you’re into and flirt outrageously with her. It is at this point when you need to “show her something” anything to get her away from the group. Get her number and give her a kiss. Don’t push it too hard on this meeting. A lot of girls won’t go home from these situations on the first night, so set up a date to meet in the future and follow it up on the phone the next, but try not to get into a creepy game of text tennis (texting is for girls, unless you know what you’re doing). Only text if it moves towards you meeting her.
If it’s me I don’t text her at all. Just call her and dazzle her with your wit and super sexual (British) charm until she comes to meet you. But I know it can be difficult to build up the balls to make a call, so most of you will text … “sigh”
The key factor in quieter bars is to be normal at first and build your flirting based on her reaction to it. If she gets weird about something, pull it back a bit and so on.
Now go out RIGHT NOW…..
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
We respect your email privacy
About Dan Ray Dan Ray is an English writer specializing in the dating and relationship niche. He writes advice for both men and women as well as couples. He takes a certain “no excuses” approach to getting what you want out of relationships and life in general. Leaning more towards a natural/ physical style. You can find his work at collegeflirt.net where there is currently an ebook available, “The College Code” is a complete guide to getting the college lifestyle you dream about.