The Importance of Logistics
There isn’t too much that frustrates me more (as I recently learned) than having a hot dime piece waiting to go home with you and not being able to get it done because of a small reason like living too far away from the club.
Logistics can be a real bitch, unless you’re properly prepared. Here are some tips on how to prepare your place for some hibbidy dibbidy.
First things first, let’s get her home. I mean this is common sense really. If you ride your motorbike or even worse your bicycle to a club, you cannot expect to go home with somebody. I mean do you expect her to just hop on the back for a ride home? NO! So let’s get a cab or walk if you live close.
Sorting out a few simple things like this can make all the difference. Your place has to be girl-friendly in order to make her feel comfortable there. Sort out these few simple things and your house will never cock-block you again.
First and foremost, tidy your room! When you bring a hot piece of ass home the last thing she wants to see is your crusty underwear or a plate of two weeks old moldy food. This does not put her in the mood for sexy time. Tidy it up. It doesn’t take much effort, so get it done. It doesn’t have to be eat-off-the-floor clean but make sure it’s neat. Girls love neat.
Also while we’re talking about the bedroom, make sure you have clean sheets. You don’t want to be sleeping on months worth of dead decaying skin cells and neither does she. Old sheets also have an odor; this odor is not sexy so change your sheets every week to keep things fresh.
Okay so she is in your nice neat room. Lay on your clean sheets and you’re about to get to some freaky-deeky and she inevitably needs to use the bathroom to erm… freshen up. Where is she going to do this? In your bathroom. SO CLEAN IT!
This is not the same as your bedroom, we’re not talking neat here, I mean CLEAN. Nobody wants to see a stained toilet full of curly little hairs. Take 5 minutes and give it a wipe down. Do the same with your shower and sink. Another important bathroom factor is to make sure you have toilet paper. We can pee-pee without it but girls can’t.
These things are important and can make or break your night, but this next one is THE most important.
She has used your bathroom, things are fresh, and you’re getting down to it. She sucks cock like a pro and has whispered those 3 amazing words into your ear “get a condom.” The last thing you want here is to fumbling around in your bathroom for one. Keep it within arms reach so it doesn’t become a mood-ruiner. I like to keep mine behind my lamp on my bedside table. It is never more than a few seconds before it’s on and I’m good to go.
Some more things that I like to do before I go out to prepare for bringing a girl home:
I like to have all of my lights getting dimmer as she moves throughout my house to set the mood a little. My hallway has bright lights, living room is a little dimmer and my bedroom is dimmed. This gives us a bit of a romantic mood as we enter my room.
I also turn off the heat in all of the rooms in my house except for my bedroom where I keep it on low. This is sneaky but in the winter it is absolute gold. My room is by far the most comfortable temperature therefore making it the logical place to spend time in. See what I did there? Subconsciously her body wants to be in my room.
When we get to my room, there has to be something to ease them into things so that it’s not just a case of, we are in my room, get neked. So I show them my baby boy Anderson Hogasaurus Waffles Ray.
Them I leave them alone for a bit. When left alone in a new place there is only one thing that girls do: SNOOP!
I have a pin-board in my room full of pictures and mementos of cool shit that I’ve done, they love this and gives them a ton of questions to ask me. About my wedding in Vegas, my ministerial certificate of the church (yeah, I’m a reverend), my pictures of every state in America, of the kids at the summer camp I have worked at for the past 5 summers. All of these things make her feel more comfortable being in my room.
I don’t have a TV or radio or anything. These things are distractions and give her an excuse to watch the latest Jersey Shore or whatever. Just an iPod deck to play my specifically chosen playlist of sexy CHOOOONS!
Follow these few tips and you’re house will be a clunge dungeon in no time.
About Dan Ray Dan Ray is an English writer specializing in the dating and relationship niche. He writes advice for both men and women as well as couples. He takes a certain “no excuses” approach to getting what you want out of relationships and life in general. Leaning more towards a natural/ physical style. You can find his work at collegeflirt.net where there is currently an ebook available, “The College Code” is a complete guide to getting the college lifestyle you dream about.