Anatomy of a One Night Stand: The How To Guide
One night stands are the bachelor’s Holy Grail. The prospect of meeting a beautiful stranger and, over the course of one evening, getting that stranger naked and down for sex makes singlehood very enjoyable for the modern man.
For most guys, however, one stands are more of a wet dream than a day-to-day (or, more appropriately, night-to-night) reality. And it isn’t because most guys are incapable of doing it. They can. It’s because most guys don’t how to do it. There’s a certain pattern that most one night stands follow. For a woman to act on her sexuality in such a short period of time, a man must make her feel comfortable, excited, turned-on, and attracted—all in the span of just a few hours.
Here’s an outline that will walk you through the “anatomy” of a one night stand. Following this “game plan” will create a positive sexual experience for both you and your woman.
Make no mistake about it: women love one night stands and random sex as much as men—maybe even more. They don’t, however, enjoy feeling slutty and pressured. Avoid those negative feelings by executing these steps:
A one night stand is only possible when you’re interacting with a girl one-on-one. If her friends can hear what you’re saying to her, it destroys the sense of intimacy between you. Moreover, she’ll feel social pressure not to hook up with you, even if she wants to.
Avoid that mess altogether by “isolating her.” Even if it’s just moving her a few feet away (with her back to her friends), you’ve taken a big first step in the right direction.
Playing it “cool” or “hard to get” doesn’t work when you’re going for a one night stand. You have to demonstrate that you have a set of balls and that you’re not ashamed of your sexuality. It’s crucial you directly communicate your desire through strong eye contract, “direct” statements, liberal touching, and kissing.
Once a woman “senses” your directness, she’s going to feel tense. Most guys think this “tension” is bad, so they try to diffuse it with jokes, apologies, or “small talk.” Though, this tension is exactly what you want. In fact, you want more of it.
As soon as you’ve injected some tension into the interaction, amplify that feeling by cutting the personal space between you and the girl, embracing her (rather than just “touching” her), and using even more direct statements of your intentions.
The term “comfort” is a misused term that’s often thrown around in the dating advice industry. Traditionally, the term meant “building comfort” through telling a woman stories about yourself, as well as asking her things about herself. In reality, the only thing this builds is a boring conversation (that often kills the sexual tension).
Instead, make a woman comfortable by letting her see that you’re emotionally stable. To do that, it’s important you remain “even keel” the entire time you’re interacting with her. Don’t get too excited, angry, upset, or embarrassed. While you should be passionate, that passion should be boiling under the surface. Remain calm and collected—even if she gives you shit or puts the brakes on one of your advances.
Finally, the most important part of a one night stand is the proposition: actually asking. So often I coach guys who want to get one night stands, yet when I ask them how many women they’ve asked to come home with them, the answer is always none. Don’t make the mistake of waiting too long to ask (or the bigger mistake of not asking at all).
Suggest leaving together well in advance of when you expect her to say yes. And, when she says no, understand that she’s not “rejecting” you; she’s merely getting comfortable with the idea of going home with you. Asking a woman to come home with you early and often plants the idea in her head and leaves her plenty of time to get comfortable with it. As the sexual tension increases as she becomes more and more comfortable, she’ll eventually say yes.
And that’s when you take her by the hand, lead her back to your place, and enjoy a passionate night with a beautiful stranger! Enjoy and use carefully—this is powerful stuff!
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.