Beware of the Clinger (And How to Avoid Her)

When you?re very drunk, or perhaps sober and very lustful, you may end up in bed with someone you hardly know, or don?t even know for that matter. This can often be the perfect situation. You release our sexual frustration with no further implications because you just had a casual one night stand.


Well, not all the time. Sometimes, the seemingly simple and uncomplicated one night stand can become something horrible, a monstrosity that could haunt you for months or even years to come.

I?m talking about clingers.

Clingers can come in many different forms, and unfortunately, they are often incredibly difficult to recognize.

One of Many Stories

Paulie D. knows

Here?s one anecdote from my personal experience to illustrate my point. My friend, George, hooked up with a girl a few times over the course of a month near the end of last school year. Each time, they were both very intoxicated. In the twisted and confused mind of this chick, the two of them really cared for each other and were on the verge of a burgeoning relationship. (I know, she?s fucked up.)

Anyway, it took George about four months to convince this girl that he was not interested in her in any way, shape, or form and had simply banged her when he was drunk. Over this period of time, he was yelled at by her in public numerous times, even slapped in the face when she saw him kissing another girl.

I?m sure that if George could go back, he would never touch this girl. Unfortunately, he didn?t see it coming.

Clinger 101

The typical clinger is a girl who wants very badly to be in a relationship with a guy. She is likely extremely self-conscious and needs a guy in her life to reassure herself that she possesses desirable qualities. These girls will likely present themselves in the form of very easy women. It will require very little effort to coerce them into having sex.

I?m not trying to say that girls are the only ones who can be clingers, but in my experience, they are more likely than guys to reach the level of desperation necessary to completely distort reality.

Obviously, the best way to avoid these ruthless hoes is to avoid having sex with women who are extremely easy to get into bed. But, for those of you who may not be prepared to give up your right to a hassle-free one night stand, I offer a few words of advice.

Spotting a Clinger Prior to the Hook-up

Clingers will often drop hints when you?ve just met them that imply more than a nonchalant physical attraction. These are the seeds of obsession.

Comments like, ?You?re such a fun guy to hang out with? or ?I really like you? that get dropped shortly after meeting a woman, especially if your only interaction has been under the influence of alcohol, are a good indicator that she is very desperate.

Apart from picking up on comments like these, the other way to avoid hopping into bed with a clinger is to pick up a weird vibe. Many clingers will radiate a slight air of craziness in a couple of ways. An exuberant laugh following your every comment, a glimmer of strangeness in her eye, or the feeling that she is trying to say exactly what she thinks you want to hear are all good indications that you may want to steer clear.

Of course, it takes a very observant and intuitive person to pick up on these cues. It is even more unlikely that you will notice something is amiss when you?ve been drinking.

Spotting a Clinger Post-Hook-up

If you do hook up with a girl you don?t know, here are some signs that may occur in the following weeks to alert you of the necessity to avoid this bitch.

If she texts you frequently, seems to show up and run into you at random places, tells her friends about you, or makes a distinct effort to hang out with you and drink together again, you really should not have further interactions with this woman.

If you are not interested, which I hope you aren?t, any positive reinforcement of her actions (i.e. more sex, replies to texts, or even a smile) will just further complicate the situation by allowing her to warp reality in her mind and believe that you actually like her and want to date her.

You Have Been Warned

I offer this article as a word of caution in hopes that it may save a few of you out there who are unsuspectingly walking into the clinger?s trap.

Do your best to be observant and pick up on warning signs before you wake up one night, and she?s standing over your bed with a devious smile on her face.

To the men out there who will not be so lucky, I wish you the best of luck. Dealing with a clinger is serious business, and you should not underestimate a truly obsessive woman?s ability to fuck up your life.

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About Gregory Arnold Gregory is a writer, difference maker, and personal growth enthusiast. He believes that by improving ourselves, we find true happiness and improve the world in the process.

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