How to Flirt With Your Eyes
“The eyes are the windows to the soul” – Traditional English Proverb
I’ve found the advice to “make more eye contact” to be relatively unhelpful, especially when it comes to sexuality, and anyone who looks into the eyes of another human understands, at least in that moment, why it isn’t the best advice.
Looking into another person’s eyes, especially eyes belonging to a person you find attractive, isn’t the same at looking at a baseball. If you simply try to stare at someone’s eyes as if they were lifeless objects in an attempt to “make eye contact,” you’ll probably get an interesting response from the person on the other end.
The eyes are not simple, lifeless objects – and being given the advice to “make contact” with them isn’t going to get you all the way to where you want to be.
Rather, you can look into another person’s eyes for hours and never see the same thing twice.
You can focus intensely, so that everything else fades from your field of vision except for her eyes which remain locked in rapture, captured by the intensity of your gaze.
You notice her irises tremble for a moment before she regains her composure and you feel her anticipation building under the surface.
You look away and can feel her follow … which only lights the fuse … a trail of powder counting down the moments to when you reclaim the spirit she offers you reflected in her pupils.
Now ask yourself, the last time you were in front of a woman you truly desired, is this what happened … or were your eyes jumping around rather skittishly despite your best attempts afterward to convince yourself that your “eye contact wasn’t bad”?
Are you utterly blown away by the ability of your eye contact alone to induce heavy amounts sexual tension in far less time than you ever thought possible?
If you answered “no” to this question then you should start focusing on the quality of the “eye contact” you’re making rather than ‘how much’ of it you’re trying to jam in there.
Here’s an even easier way for you to properly grade yourself in this department – how awkward did you feel?
Did you have general anxiety but no firm recollection of a moment when the eye contact you were sharing was too awkward for you to bear? I hate to say it but your eye contact sucked.
Was the moment that stuck out the most in the evening the point when your eyes locked for far longer than is typically appropriate and you felt butterflies surge into your stomach while blood rushed to your pants? Now we’re getting somewhere!
Keep pushing that comfort zone until the “awkwardness” is replaced by that nervous sexual excitement that makes her heart beat faster when she sees it reflected in your eyes… and that’s when the real fun begins.
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About Nick Sparks Nick Sparks is a professional social and dating coach located in the New York area. His specialties include building genuine and lasting confidence, removing barriers of fear and self doubt in the face of women and social situations, and helping men gain self acceptance and power through unleashing of their sexuality. He's taught hundreds of clients to become genuinely confident, fearless and charming since 2008, and is known for his direct, highly sexual style of game Check out Sparks of Attraction.