Dealing with Anger
One common thread I find in a lot of the guys I work with is that they?ve been hurt in some sort of relationship, and understandably carry some resentment from it. It could have been a divorce, a bad breakup, maybe she cheated, maybe worse. You might not even be feeling anger, per say, maybe you?re just hurt.
If any of this hits home at all, then this article is for you.
The first thing I want to say is that if you?re looking at women like walking vaginas, trying to fuck your problems away, that?s okay, in that it’s natural for you to be upset given what you’ve been through, and looking to ‘take it out’ on other members of that sex is an extremely natural response. I don?t have to tell anyone that women do it too.
Of course, crossing the line to abusing another person is another matter altogether and requires fierce curtailing and penance (not saying you have, just saying in general ;-). Plus, if you look hard enough you can usually find members of the opposite sex who are looking for their own salvation and who will be more than happy to comply.
I just hope you’re not beating yourself up too much for it. In fact, I’d say that the fact that you?re aware that this is happening and decided to read further and attempt to do something about it puts you ahead of the curve.
The only issue with the “whoring around” method is that your ?negative? feelings are likely to negatively affect your behavior and breed more negative reactions from women, which will only make you get more frustrated with women in general. This is how self-fulfilling prophesies (‘women are bitches’) happen.
I’ve found that taking a few hours per week to ‘deal with’ my less-than-savory feelings hasn’t only been helpful, but necessary.
Meditation and focusing on feeling those feeling no matter how shitty they are or how much they hurt.
Physical exertion: mixing bouts of pushing myself to my limits physically (sprints, pushups, pullups, jump-squats, stair running, etc) with actively getting my body to complete exhaustion (walking, swimming, cycling, etc) – while making sure to rest and fuel myself with healthy food as much as possible.
Talking about it with people I trust.
Full respect to whatever your beliefs are: I find that praying for relief from these feelings helps as well.
The good news is that over time, as long as you keep working on them, these feelings will subside and you’ll have an easier time seeing the real her (whoever she is) instead of a place to let your anger fester.
Your biggest assets will be your patience and understanding with yourself and your willingness to keep giving it your best and focus on your progress, big or small, especially when you’re frustrated because you’re not living up to the ideal you have for yourself.
Good news – You’re definitely going to do this, and you’ll also be greatly helped by all of the amazing women you’ll meet along the way.
PS – If you have your own tips on dealing with negative feelings, please share them in the comments section.
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About Nick Sparks Nick Sparks is a professional social and dating coach located in the New York area. His specialties include building genuine and lasting confidence, removing barriers of fear and self doubt in the face of women and social situations, and helping men gain self acceptance and power through unleashing of their sexuality. He's taught hundreds of clients to become genuinely confident, fearless and charming since 2008, and is known for his direct, highly sexual style of game Check out Sparks of Attraction.