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Action Plan for this Year

Have you ever met a guy who works his ass off, but never becomes very successful? Probably you also know someone who doesn’t work very hard, but always seems to get ahead.

While some of that success can be attributed to “dumb luck,” there is something to be said for working “smarter,” not harder. Better yet, the guy who works smart and hard is the one who’s going to achieve mega-success in 2012.

While much of my column involves tips and mindsets for becoming better with women, this week I want to outline an “action plan” for progressing your success with women by working smarter.

Know Thyself

Be a man with a plan

One of the most frustrating things about coaching guys in dating is discovering a guy’s blind spot. Often, after working with a guy for only a short period of time, I can see what’s holding him back from achieving success with women. Yet, whenever I tell a guy what he’s doing wrong, my critique is often met with disregard—and sometimes even anger!

Often the advice you need most is that which you want to hear least. The truth of that statement is the biggest cock-block I wrestle with as a dating coach. Often guys will accept and agree with all my nuanced advice, but refuse to listen when I nail their biggest sticking point.

Usually these sticking points come from a guy’s personality. Whether he has too much pride, too much fear, or just too much hatred toward women, it’s always an uphill battle to convince a guy to see what’s really holding him back. But, then again, that’s the definition of a blind spot—it’s something you can’t see.

Don’t fall into this celibacy trap. Take honest inventory of yourself and stop disregarding the advice you don’t want to hear. Only you know what advice gets you angry, upset, or just uninterested. Rather than “going with your gut,” assess why you feel that way. You just might learn something about yourself.

Know Thy Path

Similar to blind spots, often what you least want to do is what you’re most in need of. I’m guilty of this myself, often using my “dating instructor” status to excuse myself from doing unnecessary approaches or acting social.

Whenever friends point out my misanthropic stance toward socializing, I often say, “I don’t need to do that,” which is exactly what someone who does need to do that would say.

Whoever said that success lies right outside your comfort zone was absolutely right. The harder it is to make yourself do something, the more you’ll benefit by doing it. This is doubly true for guys who are already pretty good with women. If you keep doing what feels comfortable, you’ll stagnate your growth as a man.

Whether it scares you to get yourself into a serious relationship or approach 100 girls in one night, you have to do it.

Know Thy Plan

Now that you’ve taken inventory of yourself, and figured out what you need to do, it’s time to make an action plan. While I’m not a big fan of “drills” or forced approaches, you do need to hold yourself to some sort of accountability.

Maybe it’s simply approaching 2 girls on your lunch break at work, but get yourself into the habit of doing, doing, doing. Reading articles like this is great, and so is making resolutions to improve your life, but without action it’s just entertainment.

And I’m not here for your entertainment!

I’m here to get you results. So heed my words: take action. In fact, take action before anything else. The best strategies go: fire, aim, ready. Backwards engineer your success by pushing yourself forward, Every day. Without excuses.

Do that and you’ll be “doing you” in 2012 almost as fast as you’ll be doing your new super hot girlfriend.

Fire. Aim. Ready.

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.


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