When You Meet A Crazy Girl
It’s funny until it happens to you
We all have a war story. The girl who pretended she was pregnant to get our attention. The one who accused us of giving her HIV, and then later admitted she just overreacted after looking up HIV symptoms on WebMD. Maybe it was the girl who stood outside our apartment slamming on our door, screaming until the neighbors called the cops. Or, if you’re me, maybe all this happened with the same girl.
Regardless, if you date enough women, you’re bound to uncover a few crazies here and there. While these sorts of women make for great stories to tell after a few beers, when it’s actually happening it’s anything but entertaining. Not only does it suck to live through such experiences, on top of that, your friends will probably laugh about it.
Reality check: while most guys will offer you their “condolences” when a girl goes crazy on you, they secretly (or sometimes not-so-secretly) think it’s pretty funny. At the very least, they’re grateful someone else got stuck with the psycho, and not them. Hence, the first rule of dealing with is a crazy girl is acknowledging that your friends are probably no help.
With that in mind, you need someone who’s not your friend to advise you on dealing with crazy girls. So who not better to advise you on that than a random dude on the internet who’s certainly seen his fair share of crazy behavior!
As you probably expect, I don’t have much good news for you when it comes to dealing with crazy women. Indeed, I’m pretty much going to confirm your biggest fear: the crazy behavior you’re seeing now is just the tip of the iceberg. That’s because crazy women are like onions: under the first layer of crazy, there are just more and more crazy layers…and as you uncover each layer, there will be tears in your eyes.
Thus, my first piece of advice is to cut your loses. Don’t convince yourself that this crazy episode was just a “one time thing.” If she’s accusing you of giving her HIV today, it’s not going to get better tomorrow. No. It’s only going to get worse.
Don’t downplay her crazy behavior either. Stalking isn’t cute. Screaming fits in public aren’t a display of affection. And she’s not showing you how much she likes you by texting you 100 times a day. Crazy is crazy. Period.
Today’s crazy woman becomes tomorrow’s cautionary tale. Indeed, we all “know a guy” who had to endure some epic episode of female craziness. For me, I have a friend who’s dealing with a crazy woman 3 years after (what he considered) was a meaningless fling with her. To him, it was just sex. To her, she believes his commitment to her will save the world—literally.
In this cautionary tale, I saw first-hand how living in the digital age can elevate craziness to a new level. Women can devote websites to you, follow your every move on Facebook and other social media platforms, and harass you endlessly over text and email. This isn’t the ‘80s anymore: the crazy doesn’t stop at a few unreturned phone calls.
Don’t let yourself become the next cautionary tale and so think twice before you involve yourself with a crazy woman. Sure, it may seem like it’s just a one-time thing for you…but that’s exactly how most cautionary tales begin. “I thought it was just a hookup…” is the disclaimer so many men recite right before they quantify the level of craziness they’ve suffered over the years. Yup, that’s right. Not days. Not weeks. Not even months. Years.
Therefore, the best advice for dealing with crazy women is not deal with them at all. Be on the lookout for early indicators of craziness, and, if you spot any, make a beeline for the nearest exit. Don’t convince yourself that she’ll become less crazy after sex. Because, as any guy who’s dealt with a crazy women will tell you, sex only amplifies it.
Or else you can voluntarily throw yourself at the mercy of a woman’s craziness, become the guy other guys snicker about, and give all men reason to recite the refrain, “I’m just glad that didn’t happen to me!” So if you’re a glutton for punishment, go ahead and have sex with that crazy woman. But don’t say some random guy on the internet didn’t warn ya!
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.