When She’s Negative
Being with a pessimist is no fun. It’s exhausting to be with someone who only sees the downside to things. Luckily, the warning signs are there from that first interaction, so you can learn how to diffuse her negative attitude from the start.
A pessimist is harder to impress than other women. She won’t be amazed by any flashy techniques- doing party tricks won’t get you into her good books. A bad pick-up line will turn her right off. Pick it early by observing her body language. If she’s sort of scowling at you and exhibiting crossed body language, she’s evaluating you negatively- although at this stage, you can’t tell if it’s because she has a negative personality or because she really doesn’t like you. Either way, you need to change your tactic. Channel your inner optimist and see it as a good thing- she’s a challenge! The way to impress her is by being real- not by using tricks on her.
You won’t be able to impress her by whisking her away for a spontaneous date. She’ll see the flaws in every off-the-cuff idea you can think of. Her tendency to shut down your plans can be an early warning sign of her negative tendencies; and it will also become something that you have to get used to if you ignore the warning.
One way to diffuse her love of saying no to your plans is to have an answer to everything. She’ll immediately start thinking of the practicalities- how you’ll get there, it doesn’t fit in with her schedule, she’s not dressed for the venue you want to go to and so on. Think about and have a solution to these issues before you make your suggestion to her.
The most important tactic for dealing with a negative woman is not to feed her pessimism. If she’s having a bitch about something, don’t join in. Don’t even sympathize with her. Point out the bright side, then change the topic quickly. She will soon realize that you’re not there to listen to her complaints and don’t agree with her take on life. Then she will either remove herself from you –which is good as far as you’re concerned if all she wants to do is wallow in her sorrow!- or stop with the bad attitude.
Funnily enough, being a pessimist is often looked down upon by optimists. But her tendency to look at the bad can be an asset if it’s not too extreme. If you’re carefree while she’s grounded a bit too firmly, the two of you together can make a great realist. The differences between your perspectives on life will keep things interesting. Don’t immediately write her off if she strikes you as a pessimist.
It becomes a problem not when she can see the negatives in life, but when she can see only the negatives. Anyone like this is going to be a lot of effort, and it may bring down your state of mind to be around someone who focuses on the bad.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/