“Involuntary Attraction”: How to Make Her Want You
My belief (in all areas of life) has always been that if I can get one “nugget” from every book I read, video I watch, or program I go through… Or even person I come in contact with… It was worth it.
“Nuggets” add up.
And often these “insights” come when you least expect it.
This is one of the reason that you probably noticed I’m always interviewing and passing along information from other teachers and coaches. My feeling is that if you can get just one “nugget” from one of these interviews… then you’re one step closer to your goal.
That being said… I’ve got another short interview for you today. Today’s interview is with a guy named Jason Capital. (The guy behind this video.)
I’ve met Jason several times. He’s about ten years younger than me. And he’s got an energy and enthusiasm for hitting on girls that a lot of the older coaches are lacking…
Jason teaches something called “Involuntary Attraction Triggers”… And I wanted to get him to explain more about it.
1. Can I REALLY get laid as soon as tonight with this technique?
In a word: Yes.
If you had asked me that a couple years ago, I probably would have answered differently, but with the things I’ve seen over the last 2-3 years….no doubt about it. I think most guys have this idea that certain steps need to be taken before a girl will sleep with them. The whole idea of “demonstrating higher value” probably had a lot to do with this, as well as just generally being a guy with lower confidence levels.
But the truth is all guys and all girls are inherently EQUAL VALUE when it comes to sex.
Everyone, please read that twice and swallow it with a tall glass of water 🙂
If a guy starts chatting with a girl and believes certain steps need to be taken before she’ll sleep with him, like..
* demonstrating his value
* telling certain types of stories
* working on her friends and “cockblocks” so they’ll be cool..
* taking her out..
Plus a bunch of other stuff guys tell themselves need to happen first, then NO…he’s probably not going to get laid tonight with this technique. But if he can go in there knowing that he has NOTHING to prove or convey to her, and can just follow my NATURAL, simple 3-step system, he’s cash in the bank.
2. Does this ‘involuntary attraction’ thing really exist?
Of course. All it really means is that there are certain emotions we are able to experience and have zero control over. Let me use a far out example.
You’re reading this on a screen right now. As you’re looking at these words, a stranger comes out of nowhere and points a loaded gun directly at your face. Does your heart rate increase? Do you feel your temperature rising? Would you FEEL FEAR?
Of course you would. That’s an involuntary emotion WE WOULD ALL FEEL if someone had a gun to our head. ‘Involuntary attraction’ is no different. There are certain things you can do at ANY TIME to generate the all-powerful emotion of Attraction anytime you want.
And it’s not just things to say….sometimes you don’t know what to say, right? That’s why this is so great. You can trigger ‘Involuntary Attraction’ with your body language, vocal tonality, eye contact, touch, breathing patterns… Sometimes even I don’t know what to say but because this other stuff is so powerful, I can just use it to trigger Attraction in any girl without a word. But let me give you an example.
Something I find myself saying a lot when I meet a girl is, “Hey I’m Jason. I’m psychic.”
You say it playfully, kind of tongue-in-cheek and she laughs…but I wouldn’t call that ‘Involuntary Attraction’ yet. Here’s how it happens: We start jokingly chatting about my psychic powers (I have none) or Ms Cleo or whatever but a lot of times, she’ll tell me about some psychic experience that she’s had (almost all girls believe they’ve had at least one).
And then it’s time for me to trigger RAW Involuntary Attraction in her. Here’s how: I challenge her, using her alleged psychic powers, to guess what someone else in the bar or restaurant does for a living, or what their name is, or how many pushups they can do in a row.
You can see this is all total nonsense me and her are talking about, but it doesn’t matter. Because I’m doing something much more powerful beneath the surface, and it’s literally triggering Attraction in her, and she has no control over it. How?
By being F/C.
Lots of guys out there are probably familiar with the idea of C/F or cocky-funny (as made popular by David DeAngelo) but I and my clients have found something that works much better and more powerfully…we call it F/C.
Fun and Challenging.
By being playfully challenging, as in testing her on her psychic powers (playful, because we’re talking about total nonsense like psychic powers and Miss Cleo, and challenging, because you are still testing her), we immediately trigger ‘Involuntary Attraction’ in her towards us.
Go ahead, try my “psychic” thing if you want and see what happens. She will become attracted to you…this is hard-wired into her DNA…she can’t help it.
3. Is your story true?
Even though most people just assume if you’re a college athlete, you’re good with girls and getting laid consistently…it wasn’t true for me.
I was a virgin until I was 20, and it didn’t even happen until I QUIT college basketball and became obsessed with learning every thing I could about why some guys get laid with all the hottest girls and why some guys don’t (I was a really screwed up case though, incredibly shy and introverted…most guys are not nearly as bad).
I still remember this one girl taking me home from a party once when I was 20. The idea that she was the one taking me home makes me crack up today…and I still don’t know why she did it. She was cute, and had options. Maybe she knew I was a virgin and wanted to be the one to de-flower good ‘ol Jason Capital. But I still remember walking into her apartment bedroom freaking out inside.
What do I say?.. What do I do?.. How do I kiss her?.. What is she going to think when she finds out I have no idea what I’m doing?..
So I did whatever I could to prolong the embarrassing inevitable. My mouth started moving and saying just awful, awful nonsense. If there was a contest to see how fast a guy could bore and turn a girl off with just his words, I would have been a record-breaker. At one point, with her lying on her bed looking at me seductively, I asked her to GET UP, open up her laptop and check something for me on NBA.com.
Obviously, I didn’t swipe my V-card that night..
4. What if I’m lacking in confidence? How do I approach when I’m intimidated by beautiful women?
Well, here’s my first question: Do you BELIEVE you deserve to be confident?
I’ve found a lot of guys with low confidence say they want to be more confident, but don’t even believe they deserve to be.
Now there’s a lot of really easy tricks to give any guy a giant boost in confidence instantly, maybe before he goes out with his buddies for the night which I talk all about in Make Women Want You, but none of those will be lasting unless he truly believes he deserves to be a confident guy.
It all starts with YOU.
The big issue I see a lot is what we talked about at the start. Do you see women as “higher value” than you? Do you still think looks or money have anything to do with ATTRACTION? If you do, that would explain why you feel inadequate or inferior around some girls.
And the big key in approaching beautiful women is two-fold:
1. Understand that just by approaching like a NORMAL, CHILL, COOL dude…you are immediately catapulted to “High Value” in her eyes. You didn’t have to say anything witty. You didn’t have to demonstrate any “value”.
Just by walking up to her and her friends and expecting them to be totally cool with you, like this is something that happens to you all the time, they just assume you’re a high-value dude and you’re free to spit all the game you want to from there. It will be well-received.
This stuff is easy, and was always easy.
We just made it seem harder than it was for a long, long time.
2. If you are afraid to approach, get eye-to-eye with what it is that’s stopping you and ask yourself:
“Is this fear rational, or irrational?”
Most guys aren’t just afraid of getting rejected, but other people seeing they got rejected too. Are those rational fears? Of course not. But sometimes that’s not enough to get a guy to approach. So sometimes you just have to reframe what you call an “approach”.
I don’t really see it as an approach.
When I go out, and start talking to girls, I’m not “approaching”…I’m just socializing in the environment, chatting with everyone. When you start saying to yourself, “Well, I would approach her and her, but not that girl, she’s not hot enough…”, your start creating these value barriers in your brain and putting those girls you would approach on a pedestal.
Instantly, you’ve made them more intimidating YOURSELF.
Why not just go out with the intention to have fun talking with everybody, and then later on in the night, choose the one you like and make it happen with her?
Besides, we’ve made this approach thing a big enough deal as is. Talking to people you don’t know is easy. OF COURSE I still get rejected nowadays and I love it. I don’t think there’s anything more freeing than getting a good, solid blowout from a girl who doesn’t even know me. I know her rejection has nothing to do with me because she knows nothing about me, so even if I wanted to, I can’t take it personally but it gets me in that state of being totally indifferent to the outcome, which is where a lot of good game starts.
I don’t want to get too deep into this stuff because it can get pretty advanced pretty quickly, but if you’re a guy who’s not approaching girls outside of your social circle yet, GET ON IT.
Just set up little missions for yourself to approach 5 girls and talk to each one for 1 minute. You’ll find that hot girls are actually really friendly, and pray to god that you DO get rejected by a couple of them. When it happens, notice how freeing it is to understand that you can get blatantly rejected by a stranger yet it actually FEEDS your positive mindset of “Wow, I really don’t care what other people think of me as much as I thought I did.”
These realizations changed my life. Plus, that letting go and not being attached to the outcome can really fuel your non-neediness vibe, which as I talk about in this webinar here, is another massive ‘Involuntary Attraction’ trigger.
Try it! Tonight.
5. Jason, what can you tell me about your new webinar presentation here?
We just finished putting it together…thing is brand-new, and AWESOME.
Full of more info like we talked about here, but we go deeper and talk a lot more about flipping that ‘Involuntary Attraction’ switch and the 3-step system I use with all these crazy but hot girls in LA I can’t seem to get enough of :]
I also share the details about that “almost lost my virginity but didn’t because I acted like a pussy” story (it’s weird how I seem to like embarassing myself publicly).
Thanks for having me man.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.