When She’s Obsessed with You
Work out the early signs that she’s controlling and you’ll be able to nip those behaviors in the bud, or at least know to escape before she starts stalking you.
She could just be an overly affectionate person, rather than being obsessed with you. If she looks into your eyes lovingly on your second date and texts you ten times a day, don’t just assume she is obsessed with you. It might just be her having an intense personality. She may not be acting conventionally, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s crazy for you.
She won’t show her crazy when you start dating – that would scare you off. She’ll introduce it slowly until it becomes a part of the relationship. You need to be able to spot the first signs of a developing obsession and deal with it early.
A woman who is obsessed with you will invariably be jealous. She’ll be jealous every time you talk to or so much as look at another woman, even when your intentions are entirely innocent. She will check up on you constantly and always need to know where you are. You will feel suffocated being with her. She’ll ask loaded questions and get angry at you for giving her an honest answer. A little bit of jealousy and insecurity is perfectly normal, but if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells then you have let it go too far.
If she has a hobby, suddenly she won’t pour all of her energy into keeping track of your life. Encourage her to have a life of her own. Suggest she has a girls’ night out- without you in tow- or takes up an evening class. Don’t suggest that she goes to the gym as her new hobby though, or you’ll have a very angry girlfriend.
If you want to keep the woman but turf the obsessive behavior, you have to set boundaries. For example, she won’t want you to go out with your buddies because she’s paranoid you’ll cheat. Don’t abstain from going, just to avoid an argument. Ask her what her concerns are and counter them. Go out, but reassure her that you’re faithful. If she can’t take your word for it, that’s her problem. She can either choose to trust you, or leave. Don’t let her control you, but don’t give her reasons to feel insecure or suspicious either.
Once she realizes that you won’t stand for her obsessive and controlling behavior, hopefully she will stop. If you like her enough, give her a chance to change the destructive habits which she would have developed and practiced in her previous relationships. However there are some obsessive behaviors which are your cue to get away fast. Don’t stand for ultimatums, threats or physical violence. These things are never a one-off; moreover, if it works for her once, she’s going to do it again. Break things off with her while you still can- if you try to leave her once she’s completely obsessed with you, you’ll only discover a whole new world of pain as she exacts her revenge.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/