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Why Social Skills Aren’t Everything


Guys often focus on their social skills when they want to improve their social life, but it’s easy to forget that there’s there’s a lot more that goes into it than that. They forget that their physical and professional health are integral parts of that as well.

Be a complete man.

When we only focus on one thing in our lives we often notice that other areas suffer. That’s why it’s important to have balance in our lives. Specifically, there are four areas in our lives that must be given equal priority. If any of them begins to suffer from lack of attention, all of them will suffer.

Those four areas (in no particular order):

Your Body

You only get one body. Obviously if you’re sick you can’t go to work, but the importance of physical health is much greater than that. The stronger your physical body, the more energy you’ll have to put toward work, and anything else you love. The benefits also extend to your social life as well. Not only will you have more energy to socialize, but the stronger your body, the more confidence you’ll carry into those social interactions; and of course, nothing attracts other people to you like confidence.

Your Relationships

Obviously, as a social coach, I feel particularly strong about this one. Humans are social animals, and study after study has shown that our happiness is directly linked to the quality of relationships in our lives above anything else. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships either. Taking time out to develop your friendships, being there for others when they need you – these are equally important. Often we think we want a romantic relationship when often we’re just starving for intimacy with any other human beings.

Your Work

I believe that every single human being on the planet has an amazing gift to share with the rest of the world. It’s our duty in life to discover, develop, and use that gift to benefit everyone. Maybe we’re afraid to fail in this area or we’re not sure to turn. We do the minimum we have to to get by, all the while telling ourselves we’re somehow cheating the system. But to be cliche’, the only thing you’re cheating is yourself. You’ll realize it, at least subconsciously, in the stagnant mediocrity of your life, frustratedly knowing you were meant for something greater.

Your Mind

It’s important is that you take time off to rest and replenish yourself. Pray and meditate. Take out time to just enjoy the world around you. Go for a walk in nature, go for a swim in the ocean. Clear your mind of the worries and stresses of the world and just take some time to relax and enjoy. Life goes by so quickly – it’s up to you to slow it down.

These four elements that make up a complete man, a complete human being, are all of equal priority. If one suffers, they all suffer. Take this moment right now to give yourself a self-evaluation. What areas do you over-prioritize, what areas are you lacking. By finding balance in these facets, we can reach our fullest potential in all of them, and truly live the life we were meant to live – and of course attract plenty of women along the way.

About Nick Sparks

Nick Sparks is a professional social and dating coach located in the New York area. His specialties include building genuine and lasting confidence, removing barriers of fear and self doubt in the face of women and social situations, and helping men gain self acceptance and power through unleashing of their sexuality. He's taught hundreds of clients to become genuinely confident, fearless and charming since 2008, and is known for his direct, highly sexual style of game Check out Sparks of Attraction.

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  1. Socialkenny PUA

    November 28, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Ot sure if I agree with the relationship aspect to this article. The other 3 points are solid for sure, but relationships or having to have them intact in order to keep things balanced in the other 4 areas is sort of guestimation.

    • Nick Sparks

      November 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

      Agree to disagree. Have you ever met a hermit?

      And I’m curious, if you don’t think social interaction is that important that why do you visit websites that focus on helping you improve your social and dating lives?

      • Socialkenny PUA

        November 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm

        Dude, my pseudonym isn’t “Socialkenny” for nothing.

        I’m all about Socializing and becoming great @ being social. This is what I teach apart from pickup: social gaming you can say.

        • Nick Sparks

          November 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

          So then you agree with the part of my article that highlights the importance of relationships.

          What are we disagreeing on here again?

  2. Socialkenny PUA

    November 28, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    I noticed a typo of mines. What I meant to say was that I don’t agree with the relationship aspect (as you’ve eluded to).

    You mentioned that our happiness is directly linked to the relationships we have personally in our lives (in other words). I just don’t see the correlation. So I was saying, maybe somewhere here in the commentary, you can give an example to clarify your point.

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