When She’s Jealous of Your Female Friends
It’s common for girlfriends to be jealous of female friends, particularly of the attractive or flirty variety. It can even be an ego boost knowing that your girl wants you all to yourself and is wary of other women getting their hands of you. However jealousy can become poisonous if it grows to an extreme. Here’s how to deal with her jealous tendencies as soon as they arrive.
It seems easier to disengage yourself from the female friend who is the object of your girlfriend’s jealousy, but that sets a bad precedent. You don’t want your girlfriend thinking she can control you and restrict who you can be friends with. You need to be assertive, let her know that you understand she is concerned but that she cannot choose your friends. If she gives you an ultimatum, don’t comply with her demands. She will most likely chicken out of the consequences; if not that’s her loss and you should be glad to be rid of her drama.
Reassure without evidence
Tell her that she has nothing to be worried about with your female friends, but don’t feel pressured to back that up with evidence. It may seem like a good idea to show her your text message history with your female friends just to show there’s nothing going on, but again that is setting a bad precedent. Trust is the flipside of jealousy. She should be able to take your word for it that you’re not trying to get with your friends. If she can’t, that’s her problem.
Your girlfriend has every reason to be suspicious if you keep her well away from your female friends. Even if there is nothing going on, keeping them separate makes it look like you’re hiding something. Introduce her to them early on in the relationship. She doesn’t have to accompany you every time you see your friends, but it’s rude to shut her out from your social circle.
If you want her to be accepting of your close friendships with attractive women, you need to offer her the same respect when it comes to her male friends. Model the kind of behaviour you would like to see from her in regards to your female friends, rather than mirroring her jealous tendencies.
When she becomes insanely jealous of your friends, the issue becomes about more than just your relationship. It has the potential to spill over into your friendships. While you will be conscious of doing the right thing by your girlfriend and want to alleviate her concerns, especially if they’re unfounded, you also have to consider that you should also be loyal to your friends. Letting your girlfriend’s jealousy take over your friendships is unfair to them. Don’t think your female friends will be thrilled to hear from you once you and your girlfriend have split up, after months of not talking to them.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/