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When Is Too Soon to Call?

You want to show that you’re assertive, confident, and not afraid of a little phone call. Making a call takes more guts than sending a text. But there’s a reason for that- because you can so easily damage your chances by picking up the phone too soon.

Wait after your date

You don’t want to look too desperate or clingy- that’s not attractive to any woman. You might be tempted to call the next day after been on a date with her and it all went swimmingly. No matter how well you clicked, you should be very careful about calling straight after you’ve seen her. It’s okay to text after, but if you want to call your best bet is to delay it by a day or two. At the same time, don’t be too systematic about when you call. For example, if you ring her a week to the day since you’ve last had contact, she will know that you’ve been counting out the days. Same goes for if you always leave the exact same gap between calls. Be relaxed about it rather than following an algorithm for exactly when to call.

Have a reason to call

It’s safest to call only when you have a reason to do so, such as to organise your next date. By all means have a decent conversation with her when you ring, as long as you have an excuse to be on the phone. If you call for no reason you run the risk of seeming clingy. Calling out of the blue also means there is no reason to end the call so it could become awkwardly long. At least if you have an objective, once the conversation is starting to get less interesting you can end with something like “okay, just wanted to find out if I left my jacket in your car, gotta go!”- which is much more preferable than letting the conversation slowly die.

Don’t call if you’re not sure she’s keen

Calling is a bold move; if you’re getting mixed signals from her then it’s best to contact her via less confrontational means. She probably hasn’t decided if she’s interested or not, and you calling might be too full-on at this stage. You don’t want to scare her off by being too eager.

Gauge it by texting

If you’ve been exchanging long, conversational text messages, that’s a good indication that a phone conversation will go down well. You both seem to have plenty to say so you won’t have to worry about awkward silences. It also shows that you’re both interested in each other. However, texting is not a foolproof test- your text conversations might be shocking despite the real-life spark. In this case it is probably fine to call her, perhaps your text conversations fizzle because she is bad at texting or she’s on a particularly tight budget and isn’t in the habit of having conversations via text.


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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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