All is Not Fair in Love and War
They say that “all’s fair in love and war,” but when it comes to dating, nothing is fair. By dint of having a penis, you’re at disadvantage. The deck is stacked in the favor of the fairer sex, and if you ever want to get what you want (ahem…WHO you want) then I have a little piece of advice for you…
You have to play dirty.
Being the “knight in shining armor” and trying to live up to the impossible ideal of the “great guy” simply isn’t a paradigm that actually works in real life. All those romantic comedies where good behavior is rewarded with the girl in the end are simply wrong. Real life doesn’t work like that. At all. Get used to it.
Without crossing the line and indulging in a misogynist rant about how easy women have it, we have to acknowledge the reality of modern courtship. She’s not the one who’s going to sweat over your every move, fantasize about you, and wait by her phone for you to text or call her. Nope. All that anxiety and uncertainty is the exclusive domain of the male.
Most guys curse that situation, bemoaning how that thing in between their legs makes their love life so hard. If you know how to play the game, however, these whiny chumps make your life a lot easier by setting the bar really low for you.
Think about it, you always hear about how hard the “nice guy” has it—yet, the “nice guy” is just a role that chumps willingly play. It’s just as easy to be the sexy bad boy, or the mysterious guy, or anything other than a neutered sycophant who will never the inside of a hot woman’s bedroom.
But you need to accept reality: you have to know the rules, and then you have to break the rules. See, a “nice guy” either consciously or unconsciously “knows” the rules. Whether he’s aware of it or not, he’s playing the game exactly how a woman expects him to play.
Hold open doors; text her back right away; check her Facebook page constantly; complement her; think about her constantly; worry (and worry) over if she’s attracted to you or not; avoid talking to other girls out of fear of “messing things up.”
Sound familiar? We can call it “chump rules 101.” Most guys don’t even know they’re playing by chump rules until it’s too late. And by too late, I mean that awkward moment when your crush posts a photo album on Facebook of her and some guy looking very snug with one another!
If someone ever gave you advice on how to handle some chick, and you responded with, “That’s just not me,” ask yourself: were you just afraid to try anything other than playing by the chump rules? No one intends to be a chump or a “nice guy,” and yet it happens all the time (and has probably happened to you). That’s because you were afraid to play dirty.
The idea of “playing dirty” is scary to most guys because the rules are well…the rules! As upstanding, law-abiding citizens, we’re taught to venerate the rules. Anyone who doesn’t have the upmost respect for the way the game is supposed to be played is branded an “outlaw,” “renegade,” or a “badboy.” And yet, these are the labels so often associated with the men women love.
Thus, you should always remember one thing when it comes to women: playing by the rules is for suckers. If you want to get that “one girl,” you better get comfortable breaking the rules. In other words, you better enjoy playing the game dirty.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.