Why You as a Man Should Be a Challenge
Most “average” guys can’t even comprehend that being a challenge with women is a good thing but this is one of the best thing you can do to get women interested in pursuing you so that you don’t end up chasing after her like a chump.
The easier something or someone is, the more quickly we become bored with them. This is just a fact of life; human beings are constantly bored with things that do not provide us a challenge. That’s why if you play video games and you just play on the beginner level, eventually you’re just killing everyone and it gets boring and you’re like, why am I doing this.
Everything becomes more and more difficult and challenging and that’s more and more interesting. Things don’t tend to become more interesting as they get easy, whether it’s a person, an event, et cetera. When a guy is a challenge and makes a woman work for his attention, his approval, his validation and physical affection, women will work harder.
This is the great myth of modern society, which is that if you want to get a girl you need to be really available, and you need to basically put everything aside and put her on a fucking pedestal as Patti Stanger from the Millionaire Matchmaker would say, and you need to just go out of your way to show her and provide and make these grand gestures, and in reality, psychologically, people do not respond to that.
Psychologically people do not want something when it’s too easy. I know personally, like I’ve been in relationships that are really good, and you get nervous when things are too easy, even when it’s good, it’s psychologically unsettling because you’re like—fuck, can this last. Like what’s the angle? When someone is a challenge and he makes a girl work for his attention she’s going to really value that attention. When he makes her work for his approval, she’s going to value that approval: validation, physical affection, all of this stuff.
The harder you have to work for something the more you will value it, this is just the idea of investment and we will touch on investment later because that’s another part of this puzzle, that we are going to be talking to. But, you know, the harder you work for something the more you value it, I think one of those guys… Thomas Edison or Thomas Jefferson said: things we achieve too easily we esteem too lightly, that’s part of playing hard to get, that’s part of being a challenge, if it’s too easy for the girl she gets bored, I’ve heard girls say this to me.
So you have to play hard to get, and when it comes to playing hard to get we are talking about things like disqualifiers, takeaways, using jealousy—jealousy is one of the major ways of playing hard to get.
You’re talking to a girl and it’s going really well and she’s chasing you and she’s putting in a lot of effort, and you’re like: oh, you know, I see my friend, and you go off and talk to another girl and she sees it and she gets jealous and she’s like: oh, fuck.
You know, I really like that guy, what’s going on, why is he over there talking to her, I want him to be talking to me, and becoming jealous is the most uncomfortable way to know that you want something, and so when you use jealousy and you play hard to get you’re really making things challenging for the girl, and you’re keeping her on her toes, you’re being unpredictable.
Predictability is death with women, the worst thing in the world, that’s why long relationship are difficult because you have to keep that shit unpredictable, just human beings do not like being able to figure out what they’re doing, they want it to be intermittent reward. If you go after, like B.F. Skinner and his pigeons, he did the kind of seminal psychological study on this and basically what happened was he put a button in front of the pigeons that fed them when they pressed it and so when it was… every time they pressed it they would basically get a pellet, and they would eat until they were full and would go away and then come back.
But they got bored with it, you know, they weren’t that entertained by it, however when he made it every three, because pigeons’ brains are small, they couldn’t figure out the pattern and the intermittent reward they stayed there all day. They stayed there pressing the thing literally all day, some of them even ate themselves to death, because they were eating too food because they couldn’t stop playing with the thing, because that intermittent reward, that not knowing what’s coming,
That’s the power of being a challenge and being unpredictable.
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About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.