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Is She Playing Hard to Get?


She’s hot, she’s cold, and you can’t tell up from down sometimes when you’re with her.

It seems like she likes you, but just how do you know for sure? And how do you find out without alerting her or coming across as needy? The answer to whether she is uninterested or if she’s playing hard-to-get can be determined with a little bit of knowledge of how female body language works.

The ability to tell – even from across the room – whether a woman is interested in you is not magic. With some knowledge of what to look for, any guy can tell if she’s playing hard to get, or whether she’d really rather be somewhere else – with someone else.

Here are three secrets about female body language that will make turning women on much easier:

Secret Tip #1 – Learn The Deltas

If you remember any of your high school mathematics, you might recall that the Delta is a Greek symbol that indicates a change. For instance, when the temperature soars from 40 degrees up to 70 degrees, that’s explained as a ‘delta’ of 30.

Using this “Delta” concept to read female body language means this: When you are observing or watching a woman’s body language signals, it is more crucial to notice a change in that signal, than the signal itself.

hardtoget2Guys are way too caught up in things like: “Hey, she smiled at me, but her arms were crossed. What does that mean?”

Or: “She was tilting her head at me… Does that mean she liked me?”

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but neither of these signals is really significant when you look at it this way.

You should watch for the Delta – the change in her body language – rather than the micro signals.

For instance, a “Delta” that might be noteworthy could be when she changes from being super chatty and open to suddenly withdrawing and clamming up. If you’re aware of her body language and the signal she is sending, you can look at your behavior and see if that was what caused the change. For instance, in this situation, there’s a good chance you may have said or done something wrong.

What is most noteworthy is when you see that she’s moving from colder to warmer toward you.

When you first walk up to a woman, or group of women, you’ll see that they are generally open. This is your base for comparison. After you’ve been talking to them for a few minutes, you should sense they are more open and relaxed than when you started. That is your goal.

Now the next signal…

Secret Tip #2 – Know The Important Signs Of Attraction

There are certain body signals are the ones that really matter. You have to know what a woman’s real physical indicators of interest are.

For instance, when her pupils enlarge, that’s supposed to signal that her attraction to you is growing. But look at the environment as well. If you just walked into a dark bar, that’s most likely why her pupils got bigger. (The whole pupil dilating thing is actually mostly ridiculous. It’s more important that you’re making enough eye contact.)

Another real sign of attraction is her making it a point to move closer to you, or to touch you in some way. If she does this, she’s trying to close the distance with you – and create a connection.

Women aren’t going to send you very clear signals of interest, so it is important that you notice them and respond, acting like an alpha male. Otherwise, if you don’t react, she might assume you aren’t interested and move on.

And it’s this kind of behavior from you that will actually create the kind of attraction and body language you’re looking for. More on that in a minute.

The next tip is…

Secret Tip #3 – Notice Her Friend’s Signals

Of course, you don’t want to “check out” her friends, but you should be paying attention to what her friends are saying and doing.

Hostile friends are a bad sign. Make it a point to get them to be more open to you and your presence. Even if she seems engaged, take time to make sure her friends are responsive, as well.

You want to be sure to include them in any conversation you’re having. Don’t just get fixated and focused on the woman that you’re most attracted to. By zoning in on her, you’ll actually be insulting and alienating her friends. That won’t help your cause, right?

Instead, make sure to balance the conversation. It’s okay to show some distinct interest in the one girl you find most attractive.

But when you engage her friends you’ll not only be polite, but you’ll elicit something I call the “competition response.” A woman hates to feel like she’s lost a man’s attraction, so by spreading some of your attraction around the group, if she’s interested, she’ll immediately respond by competing to get your attention back.

If there’s one thing you must know about women, it’s that they hate not being noticed!

The big trap of the whole body language area is that you will get caught up in watching for her signals – which is a passive way of handling women. She doesn’t want a guy who’s watching and waiting for something to happen; she wants a man who’s making things happen. Really, if there’s one thing I can get across to you in this article, it’s this.

Let women make the interpretations and run around in doubt and curiosity. That’s a feminine trait and behavior – reading signs and signals and clues.

You need to do the masculine thing, which is to initiate and create the situation that makes her feel that gut level attraction for you, instead of waiting for it to happen by luck.

If you’d like to learn more about how body language works with women, including what creates primal sexual desire with women, then I suggest you read this special report on strategies and techniques for building bulletproof confidence with women.

This could be the most important report you see all year…

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About Carlos Xuma Carlos Xuma is a dating and attraction adviser, as well as a black belt martial arts instructor and motivational life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Power Social Skills program, and many others. Carlos' programs teach the essence of attraction between the sexes. His approach is called R.E.A.L. Game, which he's been teaching for the last 8 years with his programs and seminars. Carlos shows you how to use your authentic personality to attract the opposite sex, and make enhance your entire LIFESTYLE - to see and feel the Big Picture of attraction and success in social dynamics.

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